Many thanks for all the comments received from last week’s message, Signs that We are Successfully Ascending. It sure feels so good knowing that these messages are helping. I guess you could say they are my way of helping to keep the light on so to speak.
On that note, I try to write messages that relative to the issues we face as we walk this crazy path of ascension. Sometimes that means that they will uplift, providing clarity as in the 9D perspectives on a current world event, while at others times, they will be somber and introspective.
I find the introspective ones are the most challenging because they require the pain of personal experience to be able to write them. But the results are so worth it.
Today’s message falls into the category of introspective. It’s a message about moving on and past the pain of a soul-shattering loss. It’s a message of hope, hope that something good will actually come from all the grief and sorrow. And it’s a message of faith, faith that there is life after loss, after all the grief, and it includes a better us to go along with it. Now, if you don’t feel you need this kind of message today, feel free to stop reading here. For those who do, I hope it helps.
What do I mean by a soul-shattering loss? Firstly, let me say I am not speaking of a normal loss, such as the loss of a job, car, or even a house. No, a soul-shattering loss is a catastrophic loss of the heart, involving the loss of a loved one that is especially dear to the soul. This level of soul connection is both ancient and deep, spanning many lifetimes together. (Twin-flames are common.)
What is the purpose of a soul-shattering loss? The purpose, as I understand it, is to enable us to achieve a level of growth normally unattainable in one lifetime. To accomplish such a feat, the underpinnings of our reality must be removed so that we can rebuild our life in a new and more functional way. This is not an easy thing to do as the fear of having our foundation stripped away would unravel us. For this reason, like ripping off a Band-Aid, the removal is done all at once.
A soul-shattering loss removes all our armor, all our walls, and blows the lid off all the old, unhealed wounds that we thought we had successfully locked away. It blows us out of heads and catapults us into our hearts. Our worlds stop; we feel frozen in time, unable to move backwards, forwards or sideways. We are left with only one choice: move into the darkness of our inner world, into the domain of our hopes, fears, and beliefs. Once inside we find ourselves standing naked and bleeding, feeling raw and vulnerable, primed for rebuilding, ready for deep healing.
Five Years Later
It has been five years now since the soul-shattering loss of my beloved brother Keith to suicide. Looking back I marvel at how much some things have changed while others have remained the same. When Keith took his life, I felt my world suddenly come to a stop. Like standing by the tracks, the train of life went on without me. In those years, I cried, raged, whimpered, walked, stumbled and fell. As I made my way through the tricky, dark and tangled web of messed up beliefs, priorities and old wounds I often felt as the journey would never end. Sometimes, just when I thought I was on stable ground, I’d find my world exploding again, as if I had stepped on a land mine. What I stepped on was the trigger switch that opened the lid of another carefully concealed old wound. Up would spew the emotions all over my eyes, clouding my vision with their pain.
Many times I felt as if I could not breathe or see. When the pain became too great, I’d go outside and stand outside on my tree-covered deck searching for some light through the trees. I came very close to selling my home just so I could live some place with a view of the sky in order to breathe. To end the pain I had to change yet another long-cherished belief or value. At times this process, too, seemed never ending.
Feeling lost became the norm. I was never one to be okay with that feeling, but I had to be because when I couldn’t get out the pain, I could not feel where I belonged. To do that required joy and long periods of it. I kept falling into the pain so often that when I did pull myself out long enough to see the light, I’d sometimes get a skewed perspective. The only thing that seemed to remain consistent was how to work through events using the higher perspective. That knowledge was my guiding light.
During those years, I had to rethink my views, on who I was as a mother, daughter, friend and teacher. Healing demanded that I step back and see myself and my actions from others’ perspective. To do this I had slow down and really feel the feelings that were triggered (on cue) and meant to allow me to see how they felt. My soul was literally putting me in the shoes of others using triggered old wounds from the past. It’s amazing what you see and feel when you slow down. Consequently my relationships deepened as I was able to give heart-felt apologies for things I had done. And I was able to forgive others because now I had been on both sides of the fence.
Being in the grief process, and its corresponding depression allowed me to feel deeper than ever before. This gave me a deeper appreciation for joy and the simple things in life. I’ve learned to savor the days instead of run through them.
The journey through the loss is over, at least the hard part is. I know this because I can feel the sunshine again. I sense my guides nearby and have begun communicating more regularly. (Just as in a Dark Night of the Soul, guides will step back to allow you the space to heal). I also feel the sense of a new beginning. I’m currently working on a new website (The site designer appeared right on time!) I know my work with the Nibiruans will continue, but now it will be richer and more satisfying. And I no longer need to move or cut down my majestic black walnut trees in order to see the sky; I can breathe again!
In closing, if you are struggling through the aftermath of a soul-shattering loss, take heart; there is life if you allow yourself to rebuild. There’s more joy, and more love than you ever thought possible.
Until next time, be well and wonderful!