The Pitfall of Spiritual Elitism

Many thanks for all the kind feedback for A Soul Perspective on Depression series. For those who have not had their lives touched your tolerance.

Today I’d like to focus on a relationship challenge that drives a wedge between those of us on the Spiritual Path and our family members. I call it “spiritual elitism.” Spiritual elitism is a state of mind in which we no longer see those not on the Spiritual/Ascension Path as our equals. In our enlightenment we have begun viewing them, especially family members who have rejected our attempts to enlighten them, as somehow less than.

I see it a lot in my counseling work; especially among starseeds. It is one of the three top reasons that guides send people for counseling. The reason this issue is so important is because it can block us from moving forward both in our ascension and in our respective earth missions. In extreme cases it can block to the point that the starseed gives up and closes the door to their ascension and mission. As you can imagine no guide wants to see that.

It is my experience that only after the Guide has made numerous attempts, do they seek outside and earthly assistance. So when I get one of these people, it is normal that my “heads up” sign is the energy of a frustrated guide.

The problem begins when we attempt to enlighten or awaken someone who is not ready. (When someone is ready they will come seeking knowledge.) When a person is not ready, they will usually rebuff our well-meaning attempts. If it is a friend or acquaintance, we usually take is better and leave well enough alone. But when it is our family, it is different. We starseeds somehow feel we must awaken them—at all costs. Like, it is our sacred duty. So instead of accepting their initial rebuffing, we begin hammering away. The more we hammer the angrier they get, and the angrier and hurt we get. After all, we’re trying to save them! Crazy huh? But how many of us have done it. I understand the desire; we want them to come with us on this amazing spiritual journey because we love them and don’t want to have to leave them behind. At the end of the day, starseed or not, they are still our earth family.

Once we have driven the wedge between us and our respective family we are left with one of two choices.

  1. Recognize that it was not the best decision.
  2. View the rejection as the result of having spiritually progressed beyond the frequency of the family, thus becoming spiritually elite, leaving us with an even great sense of alienation.

Let’s take the case of Stacy, (not her real name). Stacy, a young starseed in her late 20s, went through her awakening during her late teens. Like many progressing through the levels of the Spiritual/Ascension Path, she had gotten stuck in her relationship with her mom. Stacy had learned about the Formula of Compassion (Formula) having been guided to my site. And as she explained, the Formula had been very helpful, especially the part about soul contracts and roles, in helping her understand why she and her mom had had such a difficult time.

Now, Stacy had a double challenge, not only did she try to enlighten her mother, she was attempting to get her mother to admit that the image she had painted of Stacy’s dad was incorrect. Stacy’s father had left when she was a child, and her mom had led Stacy to believe that he was pretty much a loser. Because of her mother’s anger over her husband leaving and marrying another woman, Stacy had rejected him as well. But the fall-out from that rejection had left emotional scars. Now as an adult, and an enlightened starseed, she was attempting to heal that wound. But how she was going about it was creating more pain and putting more distance between her and her mom.

In Stacy’s case, the problem was that Stacy believed that because she had forgiven her mother for teaching her to reject her father, the soul contract between them was complete. Furthermore, Stacy believed that she had reached a point in her spiritual growth where she no longer felt anger, only love. Because of this Stacy and her mom were no longer vibrationally aligned.

Once I was informed of these beliefs, I quickly understood what Stacy’s guide was up against. Stacy had unconsciously moved into the realm of spiritual elitism where she was now stuck. Hurting because her mom didn’t want to see her or spend time with her, she was unable to move forward. My heart broke for them both. Now the challenge was helping Stacy get unstuck.

Referencing the Formula, I with Stacy about finding the mirror in her mother’s actions. The first step was to help her see those actions in a different light. Stacy’s mom had lost her husband, not because he was a loser but because she made him feel like one. Being a perfectionist, Stacy’s mom held herself and others to impossible standards. After years of trying and more often than not, failing to live up to those standards, Stacy’s dad had left for someone who made him feel loved and accepted. In other words, it was her mom’s judgment of Stacy’s dad that drove him away.

The mirror here was that Stacy was doing the same thing to her mom. Not only was she demanding that her mom admit that she was partially responsible for Stacy’s dad leaving (being imperfect as a wife) she wanted her mom to admit to damaging the father/daughter relationship.

Moreover, because her mom was still being judgmental and critical, Stacy, who had reached the state of only love, judged her for having those imperfect feelings, believing that they attributed to the distance between them. So like Stacy’s dad, Stacy’s mom could no longer live up to Stacy’s new enlightened standards. And because she was unable to live up to Stacy’s new standards, Stacy’s mom no longer felt comfortable around her. Do you see the mirror?

I’d like to report that Stacy understood all this but the reality is that she wasn’t quite ready. It’s one of the challenges with spiritual elitism; it blinds us with its light. Stacy is a smart young woman and with the aid of her wonderful guide, I feel confident that one day it will sink in … at just the right moment.

In closing, spiritual elitism is something that many of us will encounter as we move forward on the Spiritual/Ascension Path. And though it can trip us up, it is not meant to keep us stuck for ever. Guides have amazing ways of helping us “see the light.” I am grateful to Stacy for allowing me to assist her.

Starseeds are so critical to Earth’s ascension. It is not an easy journey that they make. To all of my fellow starseeds, I send you love and appreciation. Please remember, you are the hope of the universe.

hugs to all,

Jelaila Starr


One thought on “The Pitfall of Spiritual Elitism

  • August 4, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    Thank you for this article. It is resonating with me, as the first of my earth family to wake up. I wanted so much for my husband and grown kids to see what I’ve been seeing, but they are not yet ready. I’ve noticed that I’ve occasionally felt “wiser”. When one is first set free from a very religious and legalistic background, it is tempting to express anger and bitterness for the chains that previously bound one and may still bind loved ones. I am learning to hold my words back and to realize that everything is for a purpose and it is not my job to teach my loved ones my new truth. I’m so grateful for what I’ve learned and I’m looking forward to what I will continue to learn. I love this site, thank you!

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