Whop-sided Love
As you know, Earth and humanity are moving through a time of unprecedented change. The reason is that we are creating a new world. This new world, or new reality, is the one that you and I have worked and waited for. But as I said, we must create it ourselves.
One of the things we have said is necessary is more love. Love makes the world go round and the lack thereof, well–we have already seen that, haven’t we? More love would be great; we just have to ensure that we create a balanced kind of love. That brings me to my topic for this week; whop-sided love. What is whop-sided love? Most of us already have an idea but for clarity’s sake, I define whop-sided love as loving someone more than they love you.
Mirrors, we are getting mirrors of how we love, ourselves and others, through many different sources. One that was totally in my face just recently was provided by two tiny creatures with whom I have the honor of sharing my home. Cleo, my mini-Beagle and Nubi, my tiny, elegant Italian greyhound, have a whop-sided love between them. Nubi is much more devoted to Cleo than she is to him. He willing gives up his food and passes on a treat if she wants it. It is Nubi who prefers to cuddle and will take up as little space as possible in order to share a bed. In short, Cleo would be fine without Nubi but Nubi would not be fine without her.
This whop-sided love and it’s mirror was very apparent yesterday during our daily walk. Cleo took off after a rabbit, running into a wooded area thick with heavy undergrowth. About 15 minutes later she emerged covered in little sticky burs, yet totally and completely thrilled with herself. Nubi, anxious as he waited beside me immediately chastised Cleo by biting and tugging at her ears (what a mother dog would do) for the next several minutes.
We returned home and went through our normal routine. That night the dogs snuggled up together in their bed on the floor of my room, but it proved to be a sleepless night as we were awakened repeatedly but the sounds of Cleo scratching and biting.
This morning I got up and gave her a bath. After towel-drying she was fed then put in her den (crate) to sleep. Still damp, she lay shivering amongst the blankets.
Before long, her faithful Nubi walked in and snuggled beside her; a selfless gesture of love because Nubi abhors being wet. The fact that it was a gesture that time and experience has shown me would not have been reciprocated made it even more poignant.
Does Cleo care about Nubi? I feel she does, but not to the same degree. Why? Any number of reasons; she didn’t know love or kindness before she entered rescue. She lived her life in a 22″ cage being bred repeatedly until she was too sick and emaciated to produce another litter. Being unfamiliar with love, Cleo may not be able to reciprocate in the same way as Nubi who had known love before. You cannot give what you do not know.
The moral of the story here is that whop-sided love occurs when we give more than what we give. It only leads to frustrating and feeling unfulfilled and inadequate; our love is never enough. But allowing ourselves to continue giving so much in such a relationship is a clear indicator that we have some work to do in loving ourselves. I took a picture of the dogs to remind myself to explore my inner world and find the relationships in which the love was whop-sided–and discover the reasons behind them.
In closing, when we truly value and appreciate what we have to offer, we don’t settle for these unfulfilling relationships. Thanks, Cleo and Nubi, for another crystal clear mirror.