Recognizing Unavailable Love

Thanks for all the feedback to last week’s message regarding Nibiru and our future. Today I switch gears and return to one of my favorite subjects, client sessions.

Digressing a bit, one of the reasons that I enjoy sessions so much is the feeling of satisfaction I get when in the space of less than an hour, and with the help of his/her guides, we break through the walls of an old dysfunctional belief. What makes it even more satisfying freeing that person from years of emotional pain … makes my heart want to do a happy dance. Today’s story truly fits that bill.

Annie and Bill

Annie called me somewhat beside herself with frustration. She and Bill (not their real names) had met a few years back. Bill was moving out of his relationship with Charlotte, his long-time friend and mother of his child.

Bill and Charlotte had decided to go the In Vitro route to have a child because Charlotte wanted to be a mother. Because they have been friends for so long, they felt they could raise the child and give her a good life, even though they would never marry. I know, it’s complicated. *sigh*

All was going okay until Bill met Annie–she rocked his world! Annie, a divorced mother of one (6 year-old Sophie) had moved beyond her relationship with Sophie’s dad and was ready for a new relationship (or so she thought). Falling in love with charismatic Bill was easy, but getting him to commit was not.

Annie admitted that she was quite jealous, to the point of making Bill agree to only see his daughter at their house instead of at Charlotte’s home.

The Soul Perspective

From the soul perspective, Annie had embarked on the next lesson on her Life blueprint; recognizing the how, when and why of her own fear of abandonment. This fear caused her to be unable to fully commit, to be fully vulnerable, yet demanding it of others.

In order to provide a living, breathing example of her fear, Annie had drawn Bill into her life. His parenting commitment, along his long-time friendship, (neither of which he would not be free for many years), would trigger Annie’s abandonment fears to the extreme.

Not only would Annie blind herself to the fact that she was pursuing a relationship in which she would not and could not expect a full commitment, her jealousy (abandonment fear) would be so intense, she would demand more of Bill than was fair. Furthermore, thinking that Bill should handle his relationship in a similar way to her relationship with Sophie’s father, made her feel that her demands were even more justified. And when those demands were not met, Annie was left feeling unheard, unloved and unimportant.

The suspicion, nagging and conflict would drive a wedge between them, affecting their intimacy and furthering exacerbating the situation. I gotta tell you, I really felt sad for both of them; there was no winning for either one.

The Solution

Annie’s guides helped her see that the relationship was a soul contract and, as explained above, what she wanted to learn. They wanted her to see that trying to get Bill to change was not the answer; instead, it was for her to change. In other words, change her perspective.

Annie’s guides wanted her to see that this relationship was mirroring to her the unfulfilled relationship she has with herself and her Inner Child. Annie needed to realize that she was seeking this commitment in order to fill the void within her own heart. This void was the result of a fractured relationship with her own Inner Child.

Annie’s inner child was begging for a full commitment from Annie and Annie’s obsession with Bill left her Inner Child feeling neglected … just like her little girl, Sophie.

The solution was to choose to commit to the relationship with her Inner Child first. This meant that Annie needed to let go of Bill and do so with love, compassion and no blame. She needed to see that her struggles were not really about Bill, but about her relationship with herself, her Inner Child. Annie also needed to recognize that she had tried to make something work that could not have ever worked because the man she loved was not fully available.

Finally, Annie needed to understand that though her love for Bill was meant for a lesson, not for a lifetime commitment. There is someone else out there for Annie and when she reaches the point where she has forged a fully committed relationship with her Inner Child, she will meet him.