Facing the Fear of Emptiness

There are times in our lives when, for whatever reason, we are placed into a state of emptiness. What I mean by emptiness is when something or someone(s) is removed from our lives leaving an emptiness behind. Most often these periods are unexpected and leave us feeling blindsided by their suddenness. Why do they occur? How do we face the fear that they create. And most importantly, how do we ensure that what comes in to fill the emptiness is something that will make our hearts sing? Since I’m making my way through this very same situation, I’ll use a personal example to answer the questions.

Why Do Empty Periods Occur?

It’s my understanding that they occur because the Soul knows that something in our lives needs to go. You see, the Soul’s primary concern is growth and will only allow situations to continue as long as growth is possible. Once the Soul decides that growth is no longer obtainable, he/she will release the situation.

Releasing someone or something from our lives can happen suddenly or with ease. It’s been my experience that when periods of emptiness occur, they do so suddenly. It’s also been my experience that though I may feel blindsided by the suddenness of the loss, if I am honest with myself, I have felt the situation needed changing for some time. Yet, for whatever reason, I could not bring myself to make the changed needed.

Case in point, the period of emptiness I am in now with my renters. For those who follow my messages, you know that since 2009 I’ve been renting out 3 rooms in my house. These are my workshop rooms, meaning that that I use them for workshop attendees. But since I no longer hold workshops, but wish to continue to have the tax write off, I lease them out.

For the first time in 6 years all three rooms came available. And with each, there was not notice given. To say I was blindsided was an understatement.

How to Face the Fear the Emptiness Creates?

Having to pick up the pieces after being shattered by sudden and unexpected loss is never easy. But, there is a process that when used, helps us to move forward. The first day was spent allowing the pain to wash through me. I knew that trying to see only the positive side wasn’t going to work until after I’d let the pain have its time. So that was number 1: allow yourself to fee the pain.

The second thing was to then look at the bright side, finding the good. Standing in my living room, I noticed how peaceful it was. I also noticed that I wasn’t feeling tense anymore from waiting for my renters to walk in the door. I also felt tranquility.

Walking around my house, in and out of rooms I had not really seen since for awhile, I noticed my heart feeling the love I had forgotten. It was as if I had held those feelings at bay while the rooms were being occupied by others.

It was great knowing tat I could go to sleep at night and not be awakened by someone coming in the door. I reveled in being able to use all the space in the refrigerator. Simple things, yes, but precious when you’ve shared your home with others.

So that is how I faced the fear. I allowed the pain to have it’s day and then I focused on what I now appreciated about this change in my life.

How to Ensure that the Emptiness is Wonderfully Filled.

It’s been about a week since my renter all left. In that time I’ve began focusing on attracting the kind of people that I want to live in my home. I used to do that but not with the amount of detail that I have now. For each room I’ve envisioned the type person I want. I am happy to say that this attention to detail is working because today I attracted the kind of person I want for my larger room.

In closing, periods of emptiness are not something that we usually invite into our lives, but knowing how to move through them with grace and gratitude is the most affective way to ensure that what comes next is better than we left behind.