Dysfunctional Selflessness

As those of you who have been following the weekly messages know, I’ve also talked about making templates for the mass consciousness grid. A template is a blueprint or program than when placed in the grid can be accessed by anyone … sort of like adding a record to the Akashic record system of humanity. Any soul can access and download the contents of that record for their personal use and growth. Moreover, once the template has been created, anyone accessing and using it adds their experiences making it more comprehensive.

All it takes to start a template is one person doing something different, making a different choice than before in response to a specific situation. It is my belief that we are in the process of making a series of templates that all of us can use to make this much needed shift. So today’s messageis about another of those templates.

Dysfunctional Selflessness

Karen (not her real name) contacted me because she felt she was losing the battle with getting her life moving again. With an exasperating ex-husband, an uncooperative business partner, and a nagging thyroid issue that prevented her from losing weight, Karen felt her life was not only going nowhere, it was out of control. No wonder she felt depressed and energetically drained!

Tuning into her guides, I was shown the core issue creating all of these “symptoms.” Karen, like most women was struggling with the symptoms caused by a dysfunctional belief about selflessness and self-love. I’ll explain.

In our society women are taught that their value comes from being selfless givers/nurtures. We are taught that if we give enough and in just the right ways, those that receive will not only be grateful, they will give us what we want and need in return—without us having to ask. When this works, it tells us that we are loved and valued. The problem is it rarely works. Why? It requires that we all become mind readers. How does that possibly make sense? You are right. It doesn’t! It’s insanely dysfunctional and yet we have been taught that it is the way to a happy marriage, children and life.

In essence, Karen is suffering the consequences of having tried to live her life under this impossibly dysfunctional belief. It destroyed her marriage, impacted her kids and now is affecting her business and her health.

The Solution

I explained to Karen how all her symptoms were connected (a light bulb moment). Once she understood the bigger picture, we were able to move on to how to resolve the issue.

The first step was to adopt a new belief: Karen has a right to have her wants and needs met. I call it being healthily selfish (being for self in a healthy and balanced way). Only when Karen is able to get her needs met, can she then have the energy to give to others while remaining balanced. So how does that new belief translate in day to day living?

The Tools

Karen needed a new set of tools; ones that enabled her to a) recognize her wants and needs, and b) get them met. I shared the tools that I had been given, (the same ones that enabled me to work through the same issue). I call them the multidimensional 7 Keys of Compassion (because they are based on multidimensional beliefs or God consciousness). Next I gave Karen a brief outline of how each Key would assist her in returning to a state of healthy giving.

The Formula of Compassion – this key provides the steps to releasing herself and others from blame so that she is no longer a victim. In other words, it enables Karen to step out of the powerlessness of victimhood, reclaim that part of herself while, at the same time, releasing anger, blame etc., which drains her of energy.

Contracts and Promises – this key enables Karen to view any challenge from the soul level. At this level Karen can see the contract she made for the challenge along with the roles of the souls (her ex-husband in particular) who agreed to help her. It helps her understand the reason behind the behavior of those with whom she is in conflict. This tool is one of the most important because it allows us to take ownership of the challenges in our lives instead of feeling that we are helpless and powerless.

Divine Partnership – this key enables Karen to understand the very misunderstood role of her inner child, how it is supposed to be, along with how to recreate that relationship so that it functions correctly. Once she had a healthy working relationship with her inner child, Karen will be able to recognize when her inner child speaks to her and how that is done. Moreover, Karen will recognize when her inner child is blocking her and why.

Hold On to Nothing and You’ll Have Everything – this key enables Karen to release any fear that crops up when having to make the tough decision to speak up or make a stand for herself.

Dancing with the Dark – this key enables Karen to dispel her previous beliefs that prevented her from using her masculine side to step up, stand up and take care of herself, especially in regards to setting healthy boundaries in her relationships. It is those old beliefs that led to the chronic imbalance in her thyroid because she didn’t think she had the right to ask for what she wanted, or voice an opinion that might be upsetting to others. It is through our dark or masculine side that we manifest, protect and provide for ourselves.

Agreements – this key gives Karen the understanding of how to create soul satisfying agreements with others. By forging good agreements, Karen not only can get her needs met in a win/win manner, she shows others that she has integrity and is trustworthy because her word now means something.

Apologies – this key enables Karen to give effective apologies when she steps out of integrity. By learning to give an effective apology Karen will be able to completely clear the pain she has created for others by her actions. An issue is not drudged up again and again when the pain has been completely cleared from the emotional field.

In closing, now that Karen knows what caused her lack of energy, thyroid problem and relationship challenges, she felt more in control. And armed with a powerful set of tools she now had hope that she could and would turn her life around.

Keys of Compassion Overview