Black and White Blindness

This week we continue with the assignment to offer free mini-sessions in order to give those who cannot hear their guides the opportunity to receive important assistance. As part of this project, I write about the topic that seemed to be the most critical from all the sessions that were held the previous week. As I have come to understand, writing about the week’s topic fulfills another task: sharing a general message meant for all.

Before I continue, I’d like to ask a question. Has this been helpful to you? If so, please take a few moments and drop me a line. I’d sure appreciate it knowing if I am wasting my time. Okay, on to this week’s topic.

Black and White Blindness

Black and white blindness is part of “black and white” thinking. Black and white thinking occurs when someone is only able to see the extremes of a situation, and is unable to see the gray areas or complexities of the situation. “Black and white blindness” occurs when someone is unable to recognize the emotions involved in a situation, emotions that trigger a person to behave in a particular way. George, (not his real name) whose sessions is the inspiration for this week’s topic, had fallen prey.

Being a logical thinking person with a strong sense integrity and honesty, George was bewildered by why he had been unable to end two separate, longstanding conflicts with his brothers and wife respectively.

George took over the family business when his father died. All was well until his brothers began to suspect that George was embezzling. Though an audit proved that to be untrue, the damage had already been done. Terribly hurt, George turned his back on his brothers and cut off all communication.

George’s relationship with his wife was another thing. As George told me, he had communicated his beliefs about fidelity before they got married. He let Linda (not her real name) know that he would probably have a girlfriend at some point as men were not designed for monogamy. Obviously Linda decided to go along with the idea because they got married. All was well until the girlfriend appeared. Linda was struggling with anger and jealousy. By going back on what she had previously agreed to, George was left feeling betrayed and angry.

I explained to George that the reason he was unable to resolve these issues was because he did not take the emotional aspect into count. Moreover, George did not see that living in his head, choosing to be logical and suppressing his emotions, made it almost impossible for others to emotionally connect with him. It was as if George had an invisible wall around his heart and emotional body that kept others out. I went on to explain that when this occurs, the people around you feel rejected, and to some degree, abandoned. When people feel rejected, though they may not consciously know why, they will tend to err to the side of suspicion when issues of honesty arise. This is why his brothers believed that George may have been stealing.

As for George’s wife, it did not matter that he was upfront about fidelity, he was oblivious to the fact that women were designed differently and therefore his wife would most definitely struggle when faced with the threat of another woman in the mix. Secondly, because George was not in tune with his emotions, he failed to see that the fear of losing him to another woman would make it hard for Linda to be relaxed and happy.

The solution to the conflicts was to open his heart to those around him so that he can feel what they feel and vice versa. The emotional connection will allow his brothers to sense George’s intentions.

When George can feel how Linda feels, how threatening the other woman is to her, he will do something different. Though he may not give up the girlfriend, he will establish agreements that make it more of a win/win for his wife. And he will stop judging Linda for not being okay, which only adds to her pain.

In closing, many of us have grown up learning to live in our heads instead of our hearts … I sure have. We continue in this way because society approves: they even nurture it by teaching us left brain dominance. But it isn’t long before we suffer the consequences. Damaged and broken relationships, along with the devastating shock of getting “blindsided” by events that others would have seen coming, are just two examples of the price we pay.

It is my understanding that one of the major challenges our guides are facing in moving us forward is resolution of old conflicts due to black and white blindness. My thanks to George, and to all those whose sessions have served as topics for this series. Your lessons are a gift to us all.