Thanks for all the feedback from last weeks message. Some was positive while others were well, not so much. Either way, I love reading what you have to say. At least I know people are listening and I learn a few things as well so keep ’em coming.
Knowing what we want, choosing it and sticking to it even in the face of a money fear. Boy, I wish I had a dime for every time I struggled with this one!
Though men also struggle with this one, it seems women do more. I think its because we have more distrust of others, the universe and ourselves when it comes to choosing to be for ourselves even though it means it may cost us financially. To better explain this, I decided to share a personal experience (okay, lesson) that I recently completed.
This lesson centered around choosing roommates. I started having roommates about 2 years ago after my dad passed away and I felt really alone. Pluse it was around the time that my CPA informed me that in order to keep writing off most of my home I had to substantiate it through rental income. So, I’ve had roommates ever since. For the most part it has worked because I am pretty clear about what I want and there are plenty of people looking for a place without all the expense of a house or apartment. But, lately that has changed. One of the two rooms has turned twice in 3 months, all because I succumbed to a fear I never thought I had. Funny how our Guides will bring such things to our attention. Hmmm…
So, the reason the room turn twice is that I set aside my criteria for a roommate because it was near the end of the month and I didn’t want to go through another month without rental income. The criteria I set aside was that my roommate must be looking for a tranquil environment. Having had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) a stressful environment must be avoided as it will certainly take me down.
Huge red flags were waving in my face (both renters had CFS), and I chose to ignore them. People with CFS are sick, stressed out, tired, moody and Irritable because they live in almost constant pain. Tranquility is a dream, something they seek but will have to make major life changes to attain.
As you can guess, the drama in my house was over the top. Even my other roommate, a very tranquil person started complaining. Needless to say once I realized what I had done, I moved them out as quickly as I could but it cost me financially not to mention emotionally and physically.
I thought I had learned my lesson but my guides didn’t agree so another “opportunity” was presented. My long time tranquil roomie suddenly gave notice. Now I had to find another long term renter. Oh boy!
After interviewing several people I was very discouraged and it was getting close to the end of the month again. Then a man showed up who seemed a good match. He was older, an engineer like my dad, neat, clean, and rarely ever home! I thought, how wonderful!
A week went by and he didn’t call so I figured he had chosen another place. Then he called and said he wanted the room, but he wanted to bring his dog. He was also willing to pay more rent and assured me the dog would only be there at night because he takes to to daycare. Once again I was faced with the same issue. Do I set aside my criteria for money? Af first I said no but then a week went by and no one else called. That led me to think that maybe I needed to rethink my decision so I called and asked him to bring his dog over. I’m not totally against another dog, I just need it to be a good fit with my dogs. As we talked, he agreed to all my conditions and was even willing to pay more rent. I told him I’d get back to him in a few days iwth my decision.
I went back and forth in my mind. I didn’t want a big dog and especially one that is sick. His dog has cancer but, at the same time, if this was an opportunity for soul growth I didn’t want to pass it by. Unable to decide, I asked my guides for clarity (they had been rather distant since this all began). What came to me was something they had told me many times. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” In other words, don’t let a fear stop you from doing what is right for you. That means sticking to my criteria, trusting that the room quickly rents or, if this is indeed meant to be an opportunity for more boundary practice (ugh!) that I make it worthwhile. So, I decided to raise the rent and increase the conditions so that should he agree, I’d be okay.
So I called him back and fortunately he refused Whew! Two days later the right person called and the room was rented so that was my sign that the lesson was about being for myself instead of the money — and more boundary practice.
The moral of the story is this. When faced with choosing to be for yourself even though it may cost you financially, choose YOU! As I learned, it not only feels better, it’s less expensive in the long run.