Addictions and the Inner Child

Questions about addictions come up often in counseling sessions; should I quit, or how can I quit my ______ addiction? Having learned (and experienced) that quitting addictions is very challenging, and that quitting cold turkey, is not for the faint-hearted, my answers come as a surprise. “Don’t quit.” I tell them, “At least not yet.” I know, pretty radical, huh?

A pregnant pause ensues as my now confused client ponders my response, then … (wait for it) “Don’t quit! What do you mean don’t quit?”

So why don’t I encourage people to stop addictions, and especially not do it cold turkey? The answer is simple: the addiction is not so much for you, it’s for your Inner Child, and if you take it away, the child will only find another to replace it. Are ya even more confused now? No worries, I’ll explain.

The Inner Child, Soul and Self

It is my understanding that we all have an Inner Child (IC). The Inner Child is the part of ourselves that is childlike, innocent and creative. It’s that part that we once were, the part we left behind as we grew into teenagers and eventually adults. That is the 3D understanding of the Inner Child.

From the higher and multidimensional perspective, the Inner Child is much, much more. To understand the higher perspective, we must first understand the concepts of the Soul and Self from that level as well.

The Soul is the part of us that is immortal and eternal. When the Soul chooses to incarnate it imbues the physical form with a part of itself, that many call the Self. The Self is the conscious you that is reading this message. But the Soul doesn’t stop there. In order to work the Life Blueprint or Life Plan that it has designed for the upcoming incarnation, the Soul embeds its library. That library, just like the Self, is conscious and aware. The conscious part acts as an avatar. That avatar is the Inner Child.

The role of the Inner Child then is to help the Self navigate through the upcoming lifetime. Because the Soul’s library is embedded at the cellular level, the Inner Child sees itself as the body, therefore it uses the language of physical sensations and emotions to communicate.

It lives in the moment making decisions based on past experience. For example, when you meet someone that you instantly like or dislike. The Inner Child can recognize other people and instantly pull information about them for you from the library. Ever that feeling that someone is trouble? That’s your Inner Child warning you about that person based on painful past life experiences.

Though the Inner Child can recognize people from the past, and make decisions in the present, it cannot perceive the future. Therein lies the challenge. We must be diligent in monitoring what our Inner Child is doing. If we are not, the Inner Child will make a decision, based in the moment, that may prove to be a bad one. This brings me back to our discussion of addictions.

The Addicted Inner Child

Like any child, this sweet innocent part of ourselves seeks to feel safe, loved, secure and happy. And he/she will do whatever it takes to feel that way. When the child feels threatened it will first issue warnings, letting us know that something is not right … like the feeling of instant dislike mentioned earlier.

If we ignore the messages, like any child, the Inner Child will try harder. If we continue to drown out his/her voice, that’s when the Child will resort to behaviors designed to distract it from the threat. If the threat continues with no relief, the child will continue and even increase or add more addictions; whatever it takes to feel temporarily comforted, soothed and distracted.

In closing, as I mentioned earlier, the solution is to address the threat rather than try to stop the addiction. Once the cause of the addiction is addressed, and continues to be dealt with for a period of time (it differs for each person and situation), the Inner Child will relinquish its need for the addiction. Over time, now feeling safe, loved and understood, the addiction will fade away.

Until next time, be well and wonderful!

Jelaila Starr