The Nibiruan Council

Author: Jelaila

  • The Indigos, Children of the Web

    At the end of the article, The Ingathering has Begun, I said I would follow up with another one to share the information I received from the guide of one of my session clients on a certain race of beings. This race has come to earth to develop and set in place the technology that would enable us to create the Cities of Light, the bridge to the 5th dimension. I will pick up the story at the point where I was about to receive this information from Sharyl’s guide, the tall, slender man with the white hair and electric blue eyes. For those who have not read the previous article, Sharyl Jackson is a wonderful lady for whom I provided a counseling session and it was during this session that we received the information on what I have termed the “Children of the Web” or “Web kids”, and the Cities of Light.

    Counseling Session – September 9, 2000

    We are about half way through the hour long counseling session. I am intensely focused on the information and visions Sharyl’s guide is showing and telling me. Her guide tells me he would like to change the focus and move to the next subject. He says to me, “Please share with her (Sharyl) your dream about the children.” I say to Sharyl, “This guide wants me to tell you about the dream I had about the children a few nights ago. I don’t know why he’s asking me to do this, but I’m willing to go along with the request. Do you want to hear it?” She replied, “Sure!”

    Children of the Web dream as written in my journal – September 1, 2000

    I am at a weekend family reunion at my Aunt Betty’s house. In my dream it is an old white Victorian style farmhouse on a large lot near the freeway. The house is dilapidated with the paint peeling off the outside. In real life my now deceased aunt lived in a spacious red brick home on lots of acreage. Weeds have taken over the flowerbeds that were once her pride and joy but no one in the family seems to notice. With great curiosity I walk through and explore the many rooms filled with antique furniture and knick-knacks, mementos of the past.

    Scene change:

    I leave my family, gathered in the parlor, and walk into my aunt’s bedroom. I see a young boy about 10 or 12 years old. He is carrying an antique candlestick and preparing the room for the night, laying out bedclothes and turning back the covers on the bed. I stand in the doorway watching him. He has his back to me and therefore is unaware of my presence. “What are you doing here?” I ask, in a soft low voice so as to not startle him. He responds, “Your aunt hired me to help out for the weekend. I live in town.” Quietly he turns back to his work. Silence falls between us for a minute and then he begins to speak. He tells me about the town and in my mind I go to the town and see the visions he shares through his words. There are young people driving around and killing people. A war has broken out in the town between the young people. They seem to have no feelings about this. They kill whole families.

    Scene change:

    I am standing in the front yard of someone’s home. I see a girl of about 15. She is standing close to her parents. Her boyfriend drives up in his car. He looks to me to be about 17 years old. He is angry that she has dumped him. He has a gun. He opens fire killing her and her parents. I escape by running and diving behind a big truck that is parked on the curb in front of the house. Then I get up, run across a field, somehow dodging the bullets from the boy’s gun and slide down a very steep embankment covered with trees and thick underbrush to a small pick up truck below. I had hidden the truck in the trees a long time ago just for situations like this. I got in and the truck started up instantly without me even putting in the key.

    I drive out of the trees and turn onto a dirt road that leads to an adjacent small town. The truck, with a mind of its own, drives itself while I fumble around under the seat looking for the key to put in the ignition.

    I follow this dirt road for what seems like 15 miles, passing open fields and farmhouses. Eventually I enter the outskirts of town. Ahead of me I see a 4 way stop. A man in a brown uniform steps out from a building on the left side of the road and puts his hand up for me to stop. I suppose he acts as the traffic light since there doesn’t seem to be one otherwise. I put my brakes on to stop but realize to my amazement that they don’t work. I manage to slow down some but still am going too fast to stop. I blow right past the uniformed man. I spot a brake shop to the left on the other side of the intersection. I turn the wheel and coast into the parking lot, grateful that I didn’t hit anyone.

    I notice that there are no lights on. I surmise the brake shop is closed. Then I spot a chubby man in his 40’s coming out of the ice cream shop across the street. The man waves to get my attention and then calls out and points to the shop. I can’t hear his words because my windows are up but I comprehend that he is the owner and that he wants me to give him time to open the doors so that I can pull my car in. As I wait I notice that there are no other cars around; the town seems almost deserted. In the same moment I realize it is because the people are afraid and stay indoors to stay alive. On the surface, this appears to be a friendly little town in rural America, but there is something very destructive lurking beneath that surface.

    The owner opened the door and I drove the truck inside and onto the car lift, relieved that I could get the problem fixed right away. I got out and looked around while the owner worked on the truck. It was a large shop in an old building with room for at least 4 cars. The ceilings were two stories high with windows at the top facing the street. They were the old fashioned windows where the lower pane opens inward by pulling on an iron latch. As I watched my truck being lifted towards the ceiling, two more customers drive their cars into the adjoining bays. Both are station wagons filled with families. I think to myself, “This place sure has gotten busy all of a sudden.”

    A few minutes later 2 more cars pull in. These are driven by young men; the oldest being around 20. The boys get out of their cars. I see they are carrying loaded sawed off shotguns and instantly surmise that they are not here to get their brakes fixed. I dive behind a large concrete pole as they open fire on the other people. The women scream as they try to shield their small children from the blasts. There are infants; I see them killed in their parents’ arms. The fathers are yelling at the boys to stop; the bullets silence their shouts.

    Suddenly it becomes deadly quiet, there are no whimpering sounds coming from the wounded because everyone is dead. The boys calmly turn and get back in their cars. They casually back out of the shop and drive away. I step out from behind the concrete pillar, dazed with horror at the scene before me. The floor is covered with the blood of the families. Everyone is dead, the children, the babies, the fathers and mothers. And the boys, they showed no emotion at all. It was as if they had no emotions. My mind struggles to understand what I have seen.

    I hear a noise to my right and look up at the windows. Something or someone has fallen through one of the open windows. With a soft thud it lands on top the tall row of tool cabinets below. It’s a woman and she is wounded; blood drips from her wounds onto the floor below. Seconds later she gets to her feet, turns towards the wall, inserts her hand into an opening that has magically appeared, and pulls what looks to me to be a computer motherboard. This woman is strange looking, about 5′ tall and dressed in a black spider costume but then I realize it is her real body. She is a spider woman.

    She jumps from the top of the cabinet and floats to the floor without a sound. She turns to face me looking straight into my eyes. Her demeanor is calm; there is no hint of fear. Holding the motherboard in her hand she cries out to me, “Our people have caught a bug. They are able to morph into humans and are killing each other!” I stand there unable to fully comprehend her words.

    The dream ends:

    Sharyl is silent at the other end of the phone. I don’t know whether she has gone to sleep or is just taking in what I have said. Then I say, “Sharyl, this woman was a spider but she walked upright like you and me.” We talked about this for a few minutes, trying to figure out whether the children the Spider woman was referring to were of a spider race or whether the she was saying that they had spider like qualities. I could tell that Sharyl was not comfortable with the idea that they were a spider race. I was okay with it since I have worked with many races during counseling sessions, so we both agree to just remain open until we could get clear on this.

    We continued talking and suddenly we make the connection between the children in this dream and the ones we have come to call the Indigos, also known and the Children of the Indigo Ray. Sharyl has, as part of her mission, the assignment to play a very active role in helping the people of earth to understand these children. As Sharyl takes a moment to digest this last piece, I mentally note that they have also been coming to my attention a lot lately as well, and finally the dream and the near daily reminders of these children makes sense to me. For Sharyl this last piece of information about her mission is a powerful confirmation of feelings that she has been having for some time now. She says to me, “Jelaila, I was told by my guides that I would be working with the Indigo kids. They are angry and they are killing each other. Someone needs to help the parents understand this and make the changes necessary to create a safe and loving environment for these kids.”

    So we finally understood what her guide was trying to tell us—the children in my dream and the Indigo children are one and the same. The Spider woman was speaking of our young people, which are her people. I still thought that they were a spider race but then after more discussion I understood that they are a race of beings with spider like qualities in that they create webs—technological webs. In the dream the woman had dressed like a spider to show me that they make webs just like spiders do. I felt chills rush through my body as this realization sank in.

    As we continued to talk more pieces fell into place. I will summarize from this point on in order to keep this article from getting too long. But before I do, let me say that though I have counseled with many of these web children, helping them to understand their parents, and giving them tools to integrate their emotions I do not feel I am an expert on these Spider or Indigo people. I am sharing information based on the message I received from the Spider woman in my dream and from Sharyl’s guide. Also, what I share is in regards to their anger and what that anger portends for all of us. I do not seek to create fear, but instead, to sound an alert and provide a basis for understanding their current dilemma.

    The children, some of whom are in their late 20’s, that we call the Indigos, are from a 5D race of beings that travel through the universe creating technological webs for planets in the ascension process. They come from a hive or web mentality, meaning that they are mentally linked. In the web mentality, everyone in the web knows everyone else’s thoughts. In races like these, and I have worked with several over the years, they have reached a point in their evolution where the denser emotions of anger, rage, resentment and bitterness have been completely suppressed. This means that they are not connected to their lower 3 chakras but instead live in the upper 4 chakras. This creates a society of great harmony, though little individuality, and one whose emphasis is mental, logical and therefore technological.

    This race has become very proficient at creating webs and, I am told, they have become known throughout the universe as the “Spider People” or the “People of the Web.” Because of their unique abilities, they are often asked to assist planets in ascension by creating a web interface between the dimension the planet is leaving and the dimension into which they wish to ascend. That interface or bridge is what we call the Cities of Light.

    The People of the Web have emotions; they feel joy, peace, love and satisfaction. But, I am told and as I have experienced in working with them, they are limited in the range of their emotions, only feeling those of the upper chakras. This means they don’t feel anger, passion, rage, guilt and shame or intense sexual desire or excitement like we do. Therefore, when they come to a dense planet like earth where the full range of emotions is available and experience emotions of the lower chakras, they have difficulty assimilating them. And learning to assimilate, feel and express these denser emotions is what they desire in exchange for their service. In their world they have reached a plateau in their spiritual growth and for them to continue to spiritually evolve, they need to re integrate the denser emotions of their lower chakras.

    This race of beings has incarnated into families on earth, I believe since around 1970 though some may have come earlier. When they enter a family, they unconsciously establish a mental web within the family unit. This mental web allows them to access and feel all the emotions of the other family members.

    When everyone in the family is expressing their own emotions, speaking their truth and being honest about their feelings, the mental web is a wonderful experience and allows the Indigo child or Web child to feel the full range of emotions moving into and out of his/her emotional body. This enables them to gently integrate the feelings of the lower chakras in a balanced way. But, when the family is not in its integrity, not expressing their feelings and not speaking their truth, the unexpressed emotions reach a toxic level and when those toxic emotions move into the emotional body of the Web child, he/she reacts and acts them out in order to release them and thus reduce the level of emotions to a safer level.

    Their reaction is often incomprehensible to us and our lack of understanding only adds more pain to their already overloaded emotional bodies. We are not used to seeing children who don’t pay attention, demand respect, act out in class, become irrationally angry, are hopelessly bored and choose isolation over interaction. In our bewilderment we turn to drugs and medicate our Web children, thinking that by suppressing their emotional bodies and their pain, we can borrow enough time to find a cure.

    The answer I am told is a very simple one. We must move to a higher state of integrity, express our emotions, and speak our truth. In short, we must learn to be real and especially when relating with these children. They demand respect and integrity as part of their world. They are used to it and when it is lacking, they respond to let us know. In the most extreme cases, when there is too much anger, the Web child explodes and because they do not know how to handle the denser emotions of earth, they do what they do naturally and that is to eliminate the cause of the anger in order to survive. This is what the Spider woman was trying to tell me. In the dream the “bug” was anger. This race is not accustomed to feeling anger so it is like a bug or virus to them and so they use their skills to rid themselves of it and its carriers, which in this case are other humans.

    I am not saying that all Indigos are this way. It seems to be those Web children who have grown up in families with family behavioral patterns that encourage and even demand suppression of the denser emotions, but not always. What I am saying is that they have the ability to rid themselves of things that are harmful to them just like we humans do. We use our technology to create vaccines to eradicate viruses that kill us; they are no different. In their case they use guns, and in the future, computer technology to eradicate what they think threatens their survival.

    Since earth is now in ascension mode, the People of the Web have come here to create the technology that will enable us to bridge to the 5th dimension. The younger ones are often fascinated and sometimes obsessed with Nintendo and other computer games. The older ones, the ones in their late teens up to around 30 are the Spider people working on cutting edge technology that will meld the human mind with the computer.

    By the year 2007 the Web will look much different than it does today. I am told these Indigos will create the Internet in such a way that we will have to have the utmost integrity to be able to use it and gain access to the 5D portion of it. This is what the security issues of today are heralding for tomorrow. They will create technology that scans our DNA and also our emotional bodies to ascertain our integrity level. If we have not reached that level, they will have technology built into the Internet that will shut us out of the 5D areas, thus, keeping us either individually or collectively from ascending into 5D. This will not be done maliciously on their part, but as a logical means of survival. They understand the level of integrity and honesty needed in 5D because they come from there. These technologies simply ensure the ongoing safety of those worlds by not allowing anyone of a lower frequency to enter.

    Allow me to offer an example. Notice the age of the people who create most of the computer viruses. They are usually between the ages of 16 and 25. Though they are using the viruses to express their anger, we need to be aware that this is their first expression of their true abilities to create software that eradicates. These young people are angry at our lack of integrity, our choice to be dishonest, our lack of respect for ourselves and for them. They know that they cannot trust us, and they feel that the fears that block our integrity can threaten their safety and the safety of their home dimension. Computer viruses are just their first step in creating the technology that will ensure their survival and protection of their 5D world, technology that will also lock us out of that dimension. In other words, they are just warming up so please pay attention!

    I’m no expert at the Web and computers so if my explanation seems a little vague and simplistic, I offer my apologies. I do struggle to put words to what I see in the visions.

    So, I ask you to look at this objectively and don’t get frightened over the realization of the power this race has. They are here to help us, but we must help them in return by keeping our part of the agreement. We must help them by clearing all the emotional blocks that keep us from being in our integrity and being compassionate so that they can experience the full range of human emotions and thus, as I said earlier, re-integrate them back into their society.

    I believe that we must begin to wake up and understand these children. We acknowledge that they are different from us, we acknowledge that they have a hard time with the denser emotions of anger, shame, guilt, blame etc., but do we realize why? Or are we too busy putting them on a pedestal and talking about how special they are while all the time turning our backs on their pleas for understanding, respect and their needs to experience all emotions in a balanced manner?

    These are the children that are being labeled ADD and ADHD. But I say that we cause their emotional/physical/mental imbalances by our stuffing of our feelings, our dishonesty, and our fear of expressing our truth. I would even go so far as to say that if everyone began expressing their feelings and speaking their truth, the majority of these kids could be cured very quickly since their imbalances are the expression of our imbalances. I believe that if their family webs could be cleared of the toxic levels of unexpressed feelings these kids would settle down and become emotionally and mentally peaceful and happy which, I understand, is their natural state of being.

    The Spider woman came to tell us this. I now believe that she came to alert us to the real situation, asking us to see what is happening. She wants us to understand her people, our children and do what we, as humans know how to do, express our feelings. I feel that the Children of the Web came in service to create for us the technology through which we can bridge to the 5th dimension and in return we agreed to help them experience the full range of emotions and the balanced expression of those emotions for which humans are known. But if we refuse to fulfill our part of the agreement, they can just as easily create the technology that will lock us out. The choice is ours. What will we do with it? There is no time to lose.

    In humble service,

    Jelaila Starr

    Written September 22, 2000

  • The Ingathering has Begun!

    In the early morning of August 27th I awoke to hear a voice in my head saying, “The ingathering has begun”. I looked at the clock to see what time it was. It was 2:22 a.m. Immediately a picture from a childhood storybook of the animals walking up the ramp into the Ark came to mind. I knew this was important because the feelings in my heart chakra were very intense.

    I sensed that the message came from a collective voice, a voice representing many nations and races. It seemed to me that they were the Elders of each of these races. The name that I get is the Star Elders. In any case, it felt like they were telling me that they had begun calling all the people together. My understanding was that they were referring to the starseeds, walk-ins and lightworkers and those doing the calling were the family member of each race who was in charge of overseeing the path of their people on earth.

    There was no doubt in my mind that this reference was to a new phase that had begun and I was being requested to deliver that message to the people per my assignment as a messenger for the Nibiruan Council. After pondering this for a while longer, I went back to sleep.

    September 9, 2000

    It has been 13 days since I received that message. I have been feeling that I needed to write about this gathering phase but felt that something was still missing. As I talked to others over the intervening days, I was encouraged to find out that many of them had received similar information. This was reassuring because it told me that, indeed, something was really happening.

    Today, I did a session for a wonderful lady from Seattle named Sharyl Jackson. She called me for this session because she had been urged to do so by her guides. When the session began she said, “My first question is why was I guided to have this session?” The answer proved very enlightening for both of us. One of her guides, a tall, thin, regal man with white hair and electric blue eyes came forward to answer the question. I had the distinct impression that he was a man of few words. He waited patiently for me to give him my attention. I had been describing him to Sharyl. She recognized him as a guide who only showed up when it was time for her to begin a new phase.

    Once he had my attention, he began by showing me in a vision of two cities of light connected by a bridge. Neither city was completely built but the one on the left was further along than the other, which was just getting started.

    Then he waved his arm in an arc and before me another vision took form. This one took my breath away. All I could say was, “Wow!” The vision was set in space. There were what I could only describe as cities of light separated by the deep blackness of space. Each one was connected to the other by grids of light. They were in a circle, like a wagon wheel or even better, a spider web. The cities were all connected to a city located right in the center. I saw pulsing lights moving along the grids that connected each of the cities to this city/hub and to each other.

    The center city was not as fancy or glittery as some of the others, but it did its work providing an integration vortex for the information coming from the higher realms as well as information that was received from the higher realms via people in the other cities. It took this information and placed it into the bigger universal picture showing how each group, each race fit into the greater consciousness in order to foster cooperation and unity. It was the most magnificent thing I think I have ever seen.

    Next, he told me telepathically that the cities of light were websites on the Internet and that the space I saw was the space that existed between these websites on the Internet. As you and I know, the Internet is not physical but electrical and magnetic. It is simply a bunch of computers connected to each other.

    So his message was that the ingathering meant that starseeds, walk-ins and lightworkers would be impulsed to either create one of these cities of light/websites or gather in one that was already created.

    So what would they do in these gathering places and what would the gathering places provide? What is their purpose?

    The cities of light/websites would be places where the people would receive information, education and emotional/physical support to continue and complete their missions. Earlier in the week I received a flash of information about this while talking with a friend. I was shown the Second Grand Earth Experiment and received a message that said, one of the reasons the second experiment did not succeed is because they could not get the starseeds to work together and complete the ingathering.

    Their focus on differences between groups and channeled information and fighting over who’s information was right and who’s was wrong (mainly fueled by the teachers) caused them to resist coming together for the good of all. They could not, would not accept that everyone’s information had value and when interpreted multidimensionally was truth for that group or race and had its place in the bigger universal picture. They did not understand and would not understand the concept of multidimensional truth. This along with a few other challenges culminated in the destruction of the planet and a failure to achieve polarity integration.

    So we are back again at the same stage of ascension. This time we are to complete the ingathering into the cities of light/websites. Many are being called to create these cities, many are being called to step out and begin showing their brothers and sisters the way to these cities. This latter group of individuals will be ones who will start online mailing lists to share information coming into and out of the different hub/cities/websites/. They are the ones who will distribute the information around the web, and thus around the globe.

    The cities of light/websites will become the new 5D communities. All goods and services will eventually be available through them including food, clothing, educational information, etc., and the form of exchange will be a higher dimensional form of barter. Once again, these will not be where you live physically, but where you live interdimensionally. In other words, this new world will exist interdimensionally and you can connect to it at anytime through your computer. Your computer is the doorway into the interdimensional 5D community. I believe that is one of the main reasons why so many of us have been getting impulsed to purchase a computer.

    There is more to write about this new phase including information about the race of beings who have come to our planet to set up the technology for the new cities. I will write about them, the challenge they are now facing and what we can do to assist them in an upcoming article. For now, I am told that this is the end of the message that they requested I deliver. Once again, I hope it has helped a few more of the pieces of your puzzle come together.

    If you have questions or have information to share about the ingathering for the cities of light/websites, please let me know.

    Until next time, I remain, your humble messenger,

    Jelaila Starr

    Written September 9, 2000

    About Sharyl

    Sharyl Jackson is one of those warm-hearted souls who will, like so many of you, play a valuable part in the ingathering. I wish to publicly thank her for being the one to activate the code that unlocked the last portion of the downloaded packet I received from this group of beings regarding the ingathering.

  • Message from Sanat Kumara

    The information in this article came to me over a period of several months. I was asked to write it by Sanat Kumara and share it on our website. What I write here is based on the information he gave me along with all that I have learned in my 28 years of research. It appears that he has given me a message to write for “his people” and it includes a few more pieces of what I call the “Universal Picture,” a puzzle of our universal history.

    Let it be understood that Sanat Kumara, the Ascended Masters, Sananda and Ashtar have not been people who interest me. In fact, since I began my path I haven’t believed that any of them were real, feeling instead that they were the creation of some crazy New Agers. Were it not for Sanat Kumara (SK) coming to me in my dream, I still wouldn’t believe.

    Since this message spans a time of several months, I have decided it would be clearer if written in a journal format. I do not expect you to agree with this message; in fact whether you agree or disagree is not an issue. This is a message that is being written and delivered by request to those for whom it is meant. If the message resonates and helps you in some way then that’s great, if not then let it go.

    Tuesday, April 24, 2000

    I dream a male voice is calling to me. I turn around and there he is—a man with white hair, piercing blue eyes and bronze colored skin. He is very tall, larger than life…around 12 feet. I think to myself, what a commanding figure he is … what an air of authority and what a stern expression! He sits upon a very large, very tall plain golden throne that is completely devoid of detail. It looks cold and uncomfortable to me but he doesn’t seem to mind it. Back straight, and arms upon the armrests he leans slightly forward and looks straight into my eyes, commanding me to pay attention. Then he says, “I am Sanat Kumara and I have a message to give you.” His voice is deep and melodic with a smoothness that belies an iron will.

    So I listen as he speaks for what seems like hours but I can’t really say how long. There is no sense of time. At the end, just before he vanishes, he gives me a symbol. It is a white dove in a blue circle. He says, “This is the symbol by which you will know me and my people. It holds the energy of my office and soul group.” He also gives me a message to deliver to two of his people. They are both women with blonde hair and blue eyes. How interesting, I think to myself. And these women are teachers like myself. As I think about them both, I can feel how there could be a soul group connection between them. There is also a message for me that I choose to keep to myself. Then he disappears and I awake.

    When I wake up I have to sit up because the power of that dream and his presence was so intense. I had not experienced anything like that since Devin first contacted me in the dream state back in 1993. I don’t seem to remember much of what he gave me, but I clearly remember the symbol of the dove and his parting words that it was the symbol of his office and his people. It was like he etched it into my third eye.

    After a few deep breaths I am able to lie back against my pillows. I stare into the darkness and think about the dream. From time to time over the last two years I had wondered who this Sanat Kumara person was. I had heard his name several times through information sent to me on the web but never felt the impulse to investigate. All I knew up to now was that lots of people in the metaphysical world seemed to know, love and worship him. Now he had contacted me, a being that I had heretofore believed was not real. So who is he I ask myself and who are his people? Even as I ask these questions the answers filter into my consciousness … more pieces of the packet, pieces of the universal puzzle that I, up to that time, had not been able to fit together.

    Sanat Kumara is connected to the Orion humans, the portion of the Lyran humans from a planet that orbited Sirius B who chose to remain incarnate instead of ascending to etheric form. They left Sirius B and traveled to a planet in the Orion constellation to make a new home. I think back to the dream and locate a feeling, a strong sensation that these are his people, a feeling of intense fatherly love. I know no other way to describe it. I also get that he is part reptilian. I think back to the scene in the dream where I am standing before him as he delivers his message. He wants me to know and remember this. It was not something that he said it was something that I intuited from his skin. I could sense it in his genes. How I did this I don’t know, it’s just an ability I was given. I can smell genetics…it’s a rather strange ability I think.

    So his are the people of Sirius B. I had often wondered what had happened to them In my book, We are the Nibiruans, the only information I received from Devin about them was that they had had a difficult time as colonists with many being enslaved by the reptilians. In time they formed a resistance movement, known as the Black League, to fight their reptilian overlords. Eventually the Black League succeeded to some extent and many of those people found their way to earth. That was pretty much all I knew about them.

    I continued mulling over these new pieces as the nighttime hours slowly ticked by. I drifted off to sleep again; puzzle pieces danced around in my head. As I write this, I get the feeling that I should stop for a moment and explain to you how I receive information in order to make this message a little clearer.

    When I channel verbally and in the moment information comes to me in a steady stream, but when it is to be written I receive it in packets. These packets are given to me in the dream state and have an embedded activation code that will open them. It takes an event, a person, or a phrase to trigger that code. I never know in advance which it will be. Once the packet is opened, I feel a desire to sit down at the computer and write. I continue to write until there is nothing more to say then I get up and go do something else, all the while pondering what was written.

    Sometimes I take the typed pages into the bathtub where the second installment is opened…sometimes it opens as I awake from a nap. A packet can have many installments or smaller packets contained within it. If it is a series of packets that I am receiving, they will download and open over a period of several days to several months. In any case, when it is time to write, if I don’t heed the call, I begin to get very irritable and give everyone around me a hard time including my husband and our feline kids (kitties). So that’s how I receive these messages.

    As I awaken from the second dream another errant piece of the universal puzzle falls into place. This time I realize that Sanat Kumara was the leader of the Orion humans. It was he who led them to Orion. Another ah ha! After that piece no more information is available. I fall asleep for the third time.

    Morning comes and I wake again. I tell Jonathan about this dream and how it so strongly affected me. I continue to babble on as he listens, still sleepy from his own night of dream work.

    Thursday, August 10, 2000

    I am in a counseling session having tuned in to converse with the guides of an upbeat and energetic client named Cheryl. She has called me from Hawaii after receiving repeated urges from her guides to contact me for counseling. Another packet opens during our conversation. It’s connected to the packet given to me by SK back in April. As I converse with her guides, in the back of my mind I think, “so she is the one who held the activation code for the April packet … interesting.” I find that Cheryl is one of these former Orion colonists. She is one of Sanat Kumara’s people.

    During her current life Cheryl has had dreams and strong intuitions about being from Sirius B and traveling to earth with a group of people as an envoy. She asks about a name that had been given to her some time ago. It was Ananda and she wonders if it is her spirit name. I see that Ananda is a family name. I explain that she is of the House of Ananda. I am told this is not only a family name but an ancient lineage as well. They are healers … medicine people who can trace their history back through the priests of both the reptilians of Orion and the humans of Lyra.

    We spend our hour reconnecting her with her cosmic roots and providing the knowledge of her purpose and mission on earth. She is here as a part of Sanat Kumara’s group to help bring about the integration of the humans and reptilians thus healing an ancient wound. As we talk I am keenly aware of Sanat’s presence. He is standing just outside the circle of her guides, back behind them, listening.

    After we hang up, I sit on the sofa contemplating the information from her guides still feeling SK’s energy. I close my eyes and I see flashes of pictures about Sanat Kumara as more information downloads from the opened packet. Scenes from his life in the Orion colonies move across the screen of my third eye. I see that he established many of the Orion colonies and strove for peace with the Reptilians, reminding his people that they carried reptilian blood in their veins from their ancient roots on the humans’ original homeworld when the reptilians came and interbred with them. It was as if he had returned during Cheryl’s session to oversee the release of the remainder of the packet, information that contained the real message he wanted delivered.

    As more scenes change and flow across my inner screen, I begin to understand his mission too. Being of two races, both human and reptilian, his purpose is to assist his fellow human/reptilian brothers and sisters in integrating their reptilian and human sides. Like half black half white people today, these people belong wholly to neither race, which can create so much pain. They have no solid identity because neither race will embrace them. The prejudice between the humans and the reptilians was and still is very strong. Sanat Kumara wants his people to learn that self-worth is not based on racial identity, but on the soul itself. Only then, when they understand this and live it will racial conflict end.

    So it was no accident that the Sirius B humans were of mixed race. It was planned as part of the Divine Universal Plan long before they were born. This group agreed to voluntarily incarnate and carry the genes of two polar opposite races so that they could bring about the end the conflict between the reptilians and the humans. They, as a soul group would in later times become invaluable in the integration of the Light and Dark, male and female polarities, since they represent both polarities with their genetics. How incredible and what a daunting task! And Sanat Kumara was and still is their leader.

    As I marveled over this last piece, another piece of the Universal puzzle moved into place. I now understood who the Ascended Masters (AM) are. They are the Orion humans who used the reptilian esoteric knowledge to physically ascend. The reptilians have one way of ascending and the humans have another. The reptilian way is through abstinence and physical isolation. Through long periods of meditation and other forms of esoteric training they are able to shift their molecular structure and thus disappear into another dimension; sort of like tuning in and out of radio stations. Sanat Kumara showed me how, in time, those who escaped from Orion and traveled to earth, brought this knowledge with them through their priests. That knowledge is the same knowledge that Enki, son of the Nibiruan leader Anu, used to begin the Mystery Schools in Egypt. Of course, Enki also had the humans’ esoteric knowledge as well since he was both human and reptilian.

    Sanat Kumara showed me how some people, while still in Orion, ascended using the reptilian method of ascension to become Ascended Masters. As such they became the spiritual mentors and heroes of the Orion humans. As I thought back over the many people I have met who talk about the Ascended Masters and thought about their genetic coding, I realized that many of them were from this Orion group. Now I understood why these people were so emotionally connected to the AM.

    August 15, 2000

    I am nearly a week behind in my agreement to write this article for Sanat Kumara. We dicker over the agreement. I ask to renegotiate because I see no reason to write it. It will only stir up controversy, I think to myself. Yet he is persistent so I sit down at the computer and commence writing. I stop after a few sentences to call Cheryl. In the intervening 5 days I have forgotten the details of our session and need a refresher. During our conversation she tells me that April 23 is a significant date because it is the one day of the year when the connection between us and the ancestors is the strongest for receiving information. Interesting … I think back and wonder if that was the day that Devin first contacted me in 1993. I know that it was in April but I don’t recall the exact day.

    We continue to talk and I finally understand why I am writing this article and reason for the sense of urgency that I feel from SK. It seems that we have reached a certain phase or level in the ascension of earth where this soul group, the Etheric Sirians and their Orion brothers and sisters must step into their roles. They must begin to connect with the world around them, become more grounded and real so that those they came to serve will be able to resonate and connect with their teachings.

    I understand that the Ascended Masters of which Sanat Kumara is one are concerned that their people are caught in the love and light syndrome and therefore are rendered powerless by their resistance to the Dark side. He feels that this must end for their group mission to be successful and time is of the essence. He is calling his people to action, asking them to remove the veil of illusion that they have placed around him and the other masters. It is time to see the AM for who and what they are. Sanat says that he and the other Ascended Masters are incarnate in other realms. He says they did not remain etheric because doing so would not allow them to accomplish their goal of leading their people through ascension and into inheritance of earth, their birthright. Only by being incarnate, he says, can he and the others affect change in other incarnate realms.

    Sanat Kumara tells me that it is a deep-seated pattern which causes his people to become more aesthetic and less a part of the world. They prefer to sit on mountaintops and live their lives in monasteries and ashrams, chanting mantras…learning the reptilian way of ascension. But this time, they must ascend by being a part of the world. They must complete ascension while they carry on a 3D life. In doing so they integrate their human and reptilian sides thus achieving polarity integration. Only then can they inherit the planet earth.

    Sanat Kumara also tells me that the Ascended Masters are well known to Sirius B humans. He says his office is located on Venus. It is part of the Christos office. I wonder what part Sananda plays in all this? Is there a connection between him and the House of Ananda? Perhaps, but I receive no information to confirm or negate this idea. I suppose that will come later as part of another article.

    So I end this missive knowing that it will find its way into the hands of those who are to receive it. I feel my agreement with Sanat Kumara is complete and now I can go my own way. Sanat Kumara asks me to relay one last message to his people; he says, “Let peace be our rallying call and compassion be our armor.”

    In service,

    Jelaila Starr, Messenger

    Written August 15, 2000

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  • Running Out of Money?

    Are you running out of money to continue doing the spiritual work you feel you are meant to do? Are you living in quiet desperation, trying to hold fast to your faith, while the bills go unpaid month after month? If you answer yes to these questions then let me say that you are not alone. Thousands of dedicated, trustworthy Lightworkers all over the world are facing the same financial crisis.

    I have received numerous calls from frightened Lightworkers telling me that they are angry because they feel that their Guides have lied to them. They are scared because they are not sure what to do now that the financial abundance their guides said would come to them, has not arrived. One man told me, I have financially run out of time. If I don’t go and get a job soon, my wife and I will out on the street and homeless.

    When I hear these words, my heart breaks, and once again, I feel the overwhelming desperation to understand why this has happened to us, myself included. Why, after all we have done and overcome to do our work, do we find ourselves in this predicament?

    Like many of you, I was told by my guides, that I would receive abundant financial support to fulfill the mission I was sent to Earth to do. And many were told that Financial Disciples would come bringing thousands and even millions of dollars to assist us in doing our work. But they have not arrived and we are left depressed and disheartened at the prospect of having to get a 3D job. Many say to me, Jelaila, I worked for years to get out of the business world and now it looks like I will have to go back. I just don’t understand why! I think I may have an answer for you.

    Just a few days ago, I called a meeting with my guides, the incarnate and multidimensional Beings of the Galactic Federation’s Nibiruan Council. I asked, Why are we Lightworkers experiencing such financial deprivation? And they replied, Beloved one, you and all who came to serve mankind, will receive the support you need, but it will come in a different form than what you may have believed. All is as it should be. Understand that your financial dilemma is linked to the next phase of the mission that you were sent to Earth to complete. We will explain.

    By the end of our meeting I understood why the Lightworker’s financial crises had occurred, and I came away feeling the peace that comes with that understanding, along with the excitement of knowing that there is a plan to turn this situation around. But the part that surprised me most was the fact that you and I had planned it this way and that we created jobs for ourselves that we would enjoy doing! And once we got over the shock of going back and were ready to embrace it, that job would appear. Let’s continue.

    Going back into the 3D world to work is one of two ways that our financial needs will be met. The other will be through the new multidimensional systems that will soon be created. I will share more on that in an upcoming article.

    Bridging back into the 3D world will also be the way in which we will fulfill the second phase of our mission, which is to help awaken the greater population. Interestingly it is called by the Nibiruan Council, the Second Resurrection or Awakening. (The First Resurrection and Harvest was completed in September with the Fall Equinox)

    You see, in order to get our immediate financial needs met, and also begin the second phase of our spiritual mission, we must become part of the masses again. By doing so, we will be able to start getting our bills caught up and take some of the financial pressure off our shoulders. And at the same time we will be doing our spiritual work because we will be taking our higher level of consciousness and understanding back to work with us. To me this is the most amazing thing about this Greater Plan.

    Our guides know that in order for us to complete this second phase of our work, we must become peers with the masses before we can ever hope to gain their respect and attention which is critical to the success of the Greater Plan. I know that many of you are aware of the way many people in the world think of us. They call us flakes and airy-fairy. Whether we have earned this reputation or not, the fact still remains that it must change before we can ever hope to complete our work. So, if our job is to be a light to the world and show them the way home (5th dimension), then how are we going to do it if we stay in the metaphysical community, thus hiding our Light from the world that needs us? Those in the higher realms agree that it cannot be done unless we re enter the 3D world from which we came.

    It is my understanding that once Phase One was complete (the awakening of the Lightworkers and known as the First Resurrection or First Awakening) we all agreed that in Phase Two, we would create a bridge between ourselves (the metaphysical community) and the masses left asleep in the 3D world. And then we would cross over it and return to them.

    We knew that the best way we could help to awaken them was to by being who we are, ordinary people with a multidimensional consciousness. As they observed how we transmuted and healed our own emotional wounds, became lighter, freer and happier, they would want to follow our example. In so doing they would begin their spiritual path and we would be there as friends and peers to assist. And because we were their friends and peers, they would be comfortable trusting us to guide and assist them since they would not yet be comfortable trusting a guide they could neither hear, see nor touch.

    We were also well aware of the fact that we would not want to go back because we carried so many painful memories of the struggle we endured to get out of 3D. We remember how it hurt when our families and friends rejected us because we were way out there in their opinion. We remember the loneliness and heartache of being abandoned by those we trusted.

    Because we knew we would have these emotional scars, we agreed to create a plan whereby we would be compelled by circumstances to return to the world we left behind. It would not be easy and the fear, disappointment, and feelings of failure and betrayal would be great. But they would only last until we found the way to remember the plan as we created it, and become excited again because we knew that we were about to begin living the life we had worked for, trained for and dreamed of for so long.

    Once we applied the multidimensional principle of everything has a value and a higher purpose, we would be filled with joy and relief because we would see that our guides had not deserted us or lied to us and betrayed our trust. They had simply held on to the truth, continued to follow the Greater Plan, and remain steadfast in their belief that we would eventually wake up and see the higher perspective.

    So here we are, ready to embrace our new lives. If we will heed the voice of our guides we will find joy in our lives again. And with the financial support we receive from our 3D jobs we enjoy, we will not only have financial peace of mind, but we will also have the way to complete the second phase of our mission: The Second Resurrection or Awakening of Mankind. And hasn’t it always been true that doing our spiritual work and completing our mission is what makes our hearts sing?

    So the answer to the questions of why we Lightworkers are in financial crisis, why our guides haven’t come through for us, and why we are being forced, by our financial circumstances to return to the 3D work world, is that going back was how we planned to complete the second phase of our mission.

    In conclusion, let me say that your guides have not forsaken you, and the financial support you need will come. You will be guided to it if you remain open and continue to trust And if you are willing to do this, you will discover that your guides will not only lead you to the financial support you need, they will also guide your steps through the remaining years of our mission and then show you the way home.

    Jelaila Starr

    Readers Comments

    “Thank you very much for the great article RUNNING OUT OF MONEY. It just gave me understandings why I need to go back and get a 3D job. I knew it ! I knew that I need to go back where it was needed most , so I can continue ringing the bell. I Know so many other lightworkers like me, that are forced to go back and find a 3D job. I shared your article and will see if we can translate it to Spanish so we can share it. Thanks again Jelaila for being a messenger for many. GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL YOUR WORK!” Malena S.

    “I stumbled on your ‘Articles Area’ recently. I was fascinated by your articles on ‘The Power to Manifest Money comes from the Dark’ and ‘Is Your Inner Child Blocking Your Abundance?’ These were very informative and I could relate to them too. I have a major spiritual background. But I DO so struggle with the financial side of my life. I know that I can’t just drop out and disappear to some cave, as it were, since I am quite a ‘peoples person’ and I know I am needed in society. I usually feel very spiritually strong, but this issue is rather like a thorn in my side. This is why I drew inspiration from your words. Thank you. Blessings.” David R. Cape Town, South Africa.

  • Establishing your Multidimensional Truth

    As we move further along the path of ascension, we find that more and more individuals, or groups of individuals hailing from other parts of the cosmos are contacting us. With all the confusion and frustration being created by trying to sift through the ever-increasing amounts of conflicting information they share, I felt it was time to write an article to assist you in figuring what’s real and what isn’t. In other words, how to establish your multidimensional truth.

    What is multidimensional truth and how does it differ from 3D truth, the kind we know and understand?

    In our society we have been taught to see truth from the 3rd dimensional perspective. In other words, truth was based on evidence and facts that gather through our five senses. But as we move into this new millennium and through the twelve octaves or overtones of the 4th dimension and up into the 5th dimension, we are presented with the opportunity and challenge to embrace truth based on the facts of events and the individual perspectives of those events in all the dimensions. In other words, we are asked to learn how to establish truth multi-dimensionally so that we can see the “bigger picture” which will keep us from becoming stuck in judgment and blame.

    Multidimensional truth simply means truth that involves the realities of those existing on worlds and in dimensions other than ours. These people have their own experiences just like us and their own individual realities as well as a collective reality, also just like us. We live on earth and overall we have a collective consciousness of what our world is about, but we also have our own individual realities as well. It is said that we are holographic, that our world is holographic and when we look at it like I just described, we can see how that could be true. Each of our individual worlds is a hologram and our hologram contains our individual truth. All of our individual worlds make up the collective hologram we call the reality of our world and our world truth. I believe it is the same on other dimensions with the Beings or people who live in those worlds. And just as we have formed opinions of our reality and what lies beyond it, so have they and those opinions and holograms are what they are sharing with us.

    What purpose does it serve on the ascension path?

    I believe that this new challenge is behind much of the confusion, frustration and fear that many are experiencing now in attempting to establish what is true and what it not. This can be corroborated by the increasing amount of channeled material that is being put before us, and the many various perspectives and beliefs that information contains. If you spend any time just researching the online information you can quickly become overwhelmed and frustrated from the amount of viewpoints put forth by the various groups sharing their version of truth. And that is just what I see happening to many people today.

    But isn’t this just a part of the times in which we live? If it is true that we are ascending into a new level of consciousness, doesn’t it make sense that we would encounter those Beings who live in the dimensions through which we are traveling? And wouldn’t it make sense that they would try to connect with us and tell us their stories complete with all the, feuds, squabbles, judgments, agendas triumphs and joys in each? I think so. I feel it is all part of stepping into the galactic community. First we hear them and soon, as we move up through the octaves of 4D into the octaves of 5D, we will begin to see them as well. So, to me it is like taking baby steps. But once again, this new interaction with races from other worlds and their subsequent sharing of their reality with us requires a new way of looking at truth—a multidimensional way.

    How do we use multidimensional truth?

    So we see that each individual living on every world in every dimension has a personal truth. And each collective group of individuals has a collective truth. If we can begin to view the channeled material being given to us from that perspective then we can begin to understand how to perceive multidimensional truth. In other words, all creation, all holograms are truth to those that create them. Your life is your truth and my life is mine. What is painful for me might be joyful for you and vice versa. But there are things that we both feel are painful and things that we both feel are joyful. But once again, what we collectively agree is joyful to us and humans might be painful to another species…and each is accurate in their perception. Neither is right or wrong, they are just different ways of experiencing the same thing. Let me give you an example.

    The knowledge that is part of the 9th dimensional perception is different in some ways than the knowledge that is part of the 3rd dimensional perception. Let’s take the idea of light and dark. On our dimension (a 3rd dimensional reality) Light is seen as good and dark is seen as bad. Light is joy and bliss and Dark is pain and suffering. But on the 9th dimension Light and Dark do not have these labels. They are seen more like chocolate and vanilla ice cream, just different expressions of All That Is, each expressing a different version of creation. Neither is good or bad, both just are. There is no negative judgment placed on either one. On the 9th dimension Light and Dark are both acknowledged as having a balanced and imbalanced side. In others words, the Light has a Dark side and the Dark has a Light side. So the overall difference in the truth about Light and Dark in regards to the 3rd dimension and 9th dimensional perspectives is that on one there is a negative judgment of one of the polarities and on the other there is not. But perspectives on Light and Dark are truth.

    Multidimensional truth is a concept that once embraced and understood enables us to look at each piece of channeled information and then place it in its proper perspective. By doing so we no longer find ourselves caught up in the frustration and confusion created by trying to understand these off-world offerings from a strictly 3D point of view using the 3D way of establishing truth. We no longer have a need to see them as a “right” or “wrong” but as point of view which we may share or not share, or we may find that we share part of their viewpoint, but not all of it.

    Our ability to understand truth gets tested over and over with the result being that many of us are slipping further and further into the abyss of confusion and fear not knowing what to believe or in whom to place our trust. It is becoming a dilemma of epic proportions and driving many of us into constant states of low-level panic, stress and anger.

    But there is a way out. There is a way to establish your truth, to understand how all the pieces of information coming to the planet from the higher realms and from the uncovering of hidden truths in our own worlds fit together into the bigger cosmic and universal picture. There is a way to be at peace and ride the information wave, taking in and discarding pieces, interpreting and placing pieces into the giant universal puzzle of multidimensional realities in which we actually live. And just like a 3D puzzle, which we are in the process of putting together, we can enjoy the mystery of wondering how it will look when it is all done. There is no need to in any way be upset because one cannot see the “whole picture” yet, or know where every piece fits or does not fit at any given time.

    Thanks to the patient training by my guides on the Nibiruan Council, I was taught how to establish multidimensional truth. They provided me with precise instruction of how to interpret the data, placing the pieces in the puzzle, and finding peace, excitement and understanding in the process. Now I want to pass that knowledge on to you.

    How do we establish multidimensional truth?

    Step 1. Take the information you are reading and view it like you would if you were reading information given to you by two friends sharing their views of the same topic. Remember that each person will present his/her version of the truth based real facts and perceived ideas along with subjective experience as is their right.

    Step 2. Remain open to the information in dispute. In other words, don’t agree with one over the other, instead, remain open to the idea that other information is needed to corroborate both views. (using the analogy above, keep playing with the different pieces seeing what part of the puzzle of the bigger picture may or may not be on each piece, without judgment or fear).

    Most importantly, remember that each version is the truth for that person and that is okay. As I mentioned earlier, multidimensional truth is factual and subjective therefore it is based not only on the facts of actual events that occurred, but also on the feelings and perceptions of the individuals involved in or observing the events as well.

    What one group loves another group fears, but for both the truth is determined by their beliefs. This does not make them wrong or right. Multidimensional truth is not about wrong or right, it is about individual and group perceptions based on their individual and group experiences. If we can grasp this concept, we will be able to take advantage of all the information being given to us from our galactic and cosmic neighbors. We will be able to see the bigger picture and see how the galactic neighborhood really looks. There are disputes, alliances, peace, war, love, hate, justice and injustice just like on earth.

    There is also the possibility of hidden agendas behind apparent perspectives where a group within a civilization may wish to influence us as new neighbors in the galactic community for their own purposes. This is similar to you moving into a new neighborhood here on earth and a new neighbor grabs your ear to give you a story to influence your ideas about another person or family in the neighborhood, not for the purpose of truth but for that individuals own agenda. The only difference between you and I and this example is that the new neighbors are contacting us before we even move in! To take one group’s side over another is to pass judgment, get stuck in it, and play god, causing us to get off on the wrong foot as new galactic citizens by immediately drawing us into conflicts that we don’t need the pain of being involved in.

    We are the newcomers to the neighborhood. Many of our neighbors are visiting us now, telling us of their issues with others including the management team that maintains our galaxy. To get caught up in their disputes and conflicts taking sides does not allow us to enter the community as a neutral new member and as a result, we will open ourselves to attack from the groups we are indirectly opposing. It is like moving into a new neighborhood and having one of our neighbors begin shooting at us because they realize we have already taken sides with another neighbor against them. And we did this via telephone communication with our future neighbor. This is why understanding multidimensional truth is so important. We cannot begin to embrace multidimensionality and our new galactic community until we learn to see all sides of an issue. This brings us to my next point.

    What tools do we need to establish our multidimensional truth?

    Going a step further, how do we determine what all the sides of an issue are and further more, how do we find the integration point, the point of no blame?

    The answers to this question are intuition and research. I have discussed this in the article, Establishing Your Truth, and it bears repeating again.

    Intuition is how you receive information from your guides and higher self/soul regarding the information in question. How you feel about something is very much a key to knowing how to form an opinion about it. Intuition is half of the process known as discernment, but only half. The other half is research.

    Research is how you determine why you know what you know and how you prove what you know to be your truth.

    What benefits can we derive from multidimensional truth?

    By using the technique of multidimensional truth instead of just 3D truth, we rid ourselves of the fear and confusion that comes from trying to determine what is really happening in the cosmos and what our part, both individually and collectively, is to be. We find ourselves at peace because we see the “bigger picture” and therefore, don’t get pulled into the dramas that are playing out all around us. We see the puzzle and play with the pieces to see what they are and where they go—maybe they don’t fit in the puzzle at all! Establishing your truth multi-dimensionally places you in the position of a creator god or goddess who sees all sides and remains compassionate unconditionally loving, and neutral. And isn’t that what we say we want to be?

    In closing, this was meant to be a time of great enlightenment; not a time of confusion, panic, stress and fear. Knowing how to establish multidimensional truth is the key, and the tool to taking advantage of all the good things this new knowledge has to offer us.

    In service to all,

    Jelaila Starr

    Further Information

    Establishing Your Truth

    Let’s Talk about Judgment!

  • Facing the Fear of Controversy

    It seems that over the last few months a series of articles called Facing the Fear has developed. Each provides how to’s for integrating a particular kind of fear along with a story to explain the process. The following article is the latest installment in this series.

    For those on the spiritual path who have made the decision to ascend along with Mother Earth to the 5th dimension, they at some point come to understand what ascension entails. They realize that it means clearing their emotional blocks and taking the denser energies contained in each and transmuting those energies into compassion. Compassion, as science has recently discovered, is the one thing that changes our DNA. In essence, it recodes the DNA.

    To clear our emotional blocks we must integrate the fears that create them. In this article I explain how I used the tools (The Multidimensional Keys of Compassion) given to me by my guides in the Nibiruan Council to begin clearing the many layers of my emotional block around controversy. I needed to learn how to disengage from a controversy where the other individual just wants to take my power or energy, and learn to do it in compassion. In other words, do it without anger. I hope it helps you to do the same … Jelaila

    Facing the Fear of Controversy

    In the first two weeks after creating the Nibiruan Council’s new online Forums, the issue of controversy reared its fierce and frightening head in my life. As a result, I saw a new lesson had arrived—facing the fear of controversy. Oh boy! As one who is a recovering “Love and Lighter” who still in some ways resists seeing the Dark side, I have a real repugnance towards controversy. The heaviness and pain from the judgment and verbal attacks, not to mention the guilt and shame, leave me feeling physically sick with my stomach in knots. So my Soul decided that it was time for me to integrate another layer of this fear. I realize that I cannot be a teacher to others in this area unless I can stand up and take the hits that come with speaking and sharing one’s truth.

    This lesson began as an irritation that I had been feeling about answering the same emailed questions over and over. Now, I don’t mind typing but this situation had become a little extreme. For instance, in the space of one hour I received the same 3 questions from 3 different people. As I sat in front of my computer that Tuesday morning, my hands poised over the keys of my keyboard, I struggled to keep my irritation in check so that I could type out another long answer (none of the questions had short answers). “This person deserved an answer”, I said to myself “and he has no way of knowing that two other people have just asked those same questions.” Well, that rationalization didn’t help much. My reply was short and curt and I have since come to regret it.

    Later that day I sat in my afternoon salt bath thinking about the morning events. I asked my Soul to give me a solution to this problem. Immediately I received an answer, start a forum and have people post their questions there. Then I could direct people to it to find the answers they need. Now this sounded like a great idea. Not only would I not have to continue retyping the same responses, I would ease the burden by allowing others to answer the inquiries posted there and to provide their own views as well. Great idea! I thought. Problem solved! I slipped further into the water and closed my eyes with a sigh of relief.

    The next morning I put up the new forum and sent an announcement to our e-mail list, notifying them of the feature. Within a matter of hours my dream of a research forum that also provided a great place for people to share their experiences was shattered when I found I had attracted a woman (I’ll call her Renee) who acted like a wacko (sorry, but that’s my word for ‘em). How Renee found us I do not know but she went to work wreaking havoc, judging, preaching, condemning, and quoting bible verses and all in capital letters, which on the internet, is the same as shouting. What an uproar she created! And to make matters worse, the board received nearly 200 posts on the very first day. By the end of the evening I smelled a setup. (A setup is my term for the beginning manifestations of a lesson.)

    For the two days, I tried reasoning with Renee only to receive ugly, angry responses. Never had I in all my years felt such anger spew from another person. She reminded me of the girl in the movie the Exorcist. Each night I would talk to Jonathan, my husband, about her. Jonathan, with six years under his belt as a drug rehabilitation counselor, has had much experience in dealing with “wackos.” I told him how angry I was that this Renee would not respect the rights of others in the forum and how, when I asked her to leave and stop posting, she responded with such vulgar language that even I, one who is not unaccustomed to profane expression was taken by surprise! He just laughed and said, “Ignore her Jelaila and she will go away.” Well, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. In my mind this woman had come into my home, verbally abused my guests and myself, and even after my polite request to her to leave, completely ignored my request and was still there. So keeping my mouth shut was the last thing I wanted to hear!

    As I sat telling him this, I felt the fear rise up and grip my stomach. At the same time I began to see red! I said to myself, “How can this woman even think of treating others this way? Has she no sense of decency, of integrity, of self-respect? If I was asked to leave a forum, I would be angry but I would oblige because I would not want to stay where I was not wanted.” Obviously Renee felt different. Soon I was huffin’ and puffin’ with indignation and rage. Had that woman been in the room, I probably would have hauled off and knocked her down!

    Then, my thoughts switched to the fear. I asked myself, “What is it that I fear about this woman’s behavior? What am I afraid of losing if she does not stop and go away?” Once again I asked my Soul to help me see this lesson. (Yes, by now I realized it was a lesson.) Instantly I knew the answer—I was afraid that everyone would leave the forum, would stop posting and my forum and I would be a dismal failure. They wouldn’t want to stay because of the negative energy. I also began to see that many of my attempts at stopping this woman were because I wanted to shield my forum visitors from the pain that she would inflict upon them through her judgment and criticism of their beliefs.

    As I followed this fear deeper into my being, I also saw that I lacked confidence in my visitors’ power to protect themselves and their inner child in this fray. I believed that, like me, they were too fearful of controversy to handle this kind of emotional assault from the Dark. As a result, I felt I had to protect them. In other words, I was caretaking again! I often call myself the Fairy Godmother of Caretakers, people who rescue others from their lessons so that we do not have to feel the pain. Once again, thanks to my Soul, I had rooted out another way that I caretake and try to control others so that I am not hurt. (I wonder how many others are still down there to clear.)

    Anyway, Jonathan stood by watching this drama unfold and silently chuckling to himself. He knew from experience that this is a lesson one has to learn experientially. He knew that to step in and rescue me would only prolong the agony.

    As the fourth day of this lesson dawned, I was ready to explode. Renee was like Velcro. Never had I encountered such a person. My inner child was screaming, “She won’t go away, we can’t get rid of her. What are we going to do?” There was no way to reason with her.

    By this time it had become clear to me that I really feared these kinds of people because of their illogical and volatile natures. It triggered past-life memories of being killed because of people like her. And if this was not enough, around noon my lower back went out. I had bent over to stretch my extremely tense muscles but could not straighten back up! I lay down on the floor, staring at the ceiling thinking, “Okay, she got me. What do I do now?” My husband’s words rang in my head, “Ignore her, Ignore her.” At the same time, using The Formula of Compassion, I asked my Soul to show me the contract she and I as souls made to assist one another. I soon realized that I had drawn her into my life to play this role for me. In so doing, she would act out the behavior of the kind of person I fear most, a nutcase. And she would continue to do so until I had learned how to deal with her.

    Jonathan had told me that when you find yourself in the midst of controversy with an unreasonable person, to just ignore them and do not respond whatsoever—just delete the postings as if they were never there. He explained that what they want is energy, attention and that any response on my part gives them that energy. A response of any kind demonstrates that you are willing to play their game. If you don’t respond, even after repeated attempts on their part to goad you into a response, eventually they will tire of the game and move on. So, in desperation I decided to apply Jonathan’s advice to the woman in the forum.

    For the next several days I ignored her and quietly deleted all her postings. Because of Renee’s propensity towards preaching, I found myself doing it twice and three times a day. At first she appeared not to notice but soon she was posting messages attacking me because I was deleting her messages. Now I knew I was getting through to her.

    After seeing that her negative postings got deleted, she tried only posting nice messages thinking that she could get back into my good graces that way. I deleted these too. After two days of this Renee returned to her previous abusive behavior. Jonathan had predicted this and he was accurate. He told me that “wackos” have a cycle and as long as you can hold out and not respond throughout the entire cycle, they will eventually see that they cannot get to you and will leave you alone.

    Then something strange happened. During the days of me quietly deleting Renee’s messages, I found my heart began to hurt for her. I saw the little girl inside of her who was afraid and in pain. She wanted so much to be loved and accepted and acceptance meant attention. To Renee’s inner child, bad attention was better than no attention, but I was giving neither. I knew that for her to ever be able to receive the loving attention she deserved, that little girl had to have someone stand up to her and not engage, thus sending her the message that this type of energy vampirism will not get her what she wants.

    I finally recognized with Jonathan’s help that verbal abuse is just like physical abuse and that if I try to cajole, reason or patronize her with love and light, it is the same thing as saying, “Okay you can get what you want from me by abusing me. I will give in. I care more about what you or others think of me than I do of myself.”

    I also realized that this person had to be shown that becoming crazy and unreasonable wouldn’t work either. This extreme tactic works with many people. We feel that if we cannot reason with them that they will harm us and that frightens us. That was certainly true in my case.

    Then going further using The Formula of Compassion to look for the mirror, I had to admit that there were many times when I had done the same thing to others. I had pushed and pushed at someone in order to get my needs. And each time I was met with silence. I became crazy with rage. Images of my second husband came flooding back along with the painful frustration of not being heard and validated. I had to acknowledge that this woman was just reflecting back to me how unreasonably nutty I can become when I can’t find a balanced way to get my needs met or engage in battle just to get the attention I am starving for. What a lesson!

    After two weeks the cycle was complete. The triggers are gone … and my back problem has disappeared along with them.

    As for my other guests in the forum, I came to see that they, too, must have had a cosmic date to meet Renee … perhaps for the same reasons as I. Therefore, they did not need me interfering with their lessons, rescuing them from the same pain that I was experiencing. They needed to feel that discomfort so that they could make a choice to change their pattern of response thus putting another spiritual lesson behind them.

    Renee continues to come and go in the forums and this is okay. By having her there I can use her negative behavior to help the newcomers who need this lesson about holding one’s power to learn it. Holding one’s power and not allowing others to take it through abusive behavior is one that requires someone to play the Dark or Abuser role for us and Renee does that very well. And since that seems that there are so many of us who need to learn this lesson, it may be reason why she still hangs around.

    So I thank Renee for providing me with the opportunity to learn about the cycle of controversy, how the inner child must learn the balanced way to get its needs met, and how to deal with people in the midst of these emotional frays. Now that I understand the lesson, I bless Renee and release her from the role and thank her for being willing to endure the pain of my silence long enough for me to learn then set her free.

    I understand that due to the nature of integration, the Nibiruan Council Forums will continue to be somewhat controversial attracting people who condemn and judge others while setting themselves above and beyond the behavior and people they judge. Thanks to Renee, and her gift of this lesson early on, I feel more confident in my ability to handle these individuals and I believe that many of our regular guests who have also benefited from Renee’s lesson feel the same way. So let them come. After all, isn’t learning to balance our light and dark powers what it’s all about?

    Tips to remember:

    1. Energy vampires have a cycle. The way to move quickly through that cycle is to ignore them as soon as they show signs of being unreasonable.
    2. Look beyond their behavior to the higher perspective. Remember that they are simply a soul playing a role for you. You are in the controversy to learn how not to allow them to take your energy by being abusive. They are in the role to learn that abusive behavior will not get their need for attention met. Therefore, they must find a more balanced way to attain the attention they need and deserve.
    3. Before the controversy can end successfully, you must grasp that they are playing this role for you, learn the lesson and in compassion and release them from the role with gratitude. All this is accomplished without engaging them in any way. Express the anger, but not directly at them because anger is a form of energy, and our energy is what they want.
    4. The people who love us the most are the ones who play the darkest roles in our lives.

    I hope this has been of some help. I realize the language is a little graphic in places. As I said earlier, I am moving beyond the “love and light” syndrome where I feel the need to appear sweet and loving while hiding my darker emotions of anger, fear and shame. If I am to be an example of polarity integration, I must be willing to be real. Thanks for giving me another opportunity.

    Much love and be well,

    Jelaila Starr

    Written May 10, 2000

    Readers Comments

    “I read with interest your article on controversy. I work in an alternative high school and had a student similar to your Renee. I used the non -response method with her also to good effect. But I must say that in some situations once must respond. Being a teacher, I am obliged to assert my authority on occasion for the sake of the other students in a class. Again, the key for me is to remain cool–my lesson. I have bookmarked your web page and look forward to learning more about and from you. I am a member of the Ashtar Trinities headquartered in Sedona. Best wishes,” Robert Wilson

    “I just read your article about dealing with controversy. I must say I needed to read about your lesson. I have been going through a hard time with my son and he seems to be doing all the wrong things to me to get me angry with him. I have been trying to ignore him and get on with my life, but he still makes me angry, because of his lack of caring of what happens to him or me. He tell me that I am good to him, but he thinks I am the wacko, because I believe in E.T.’s. I have 2 other grown children and I’m sure they think I’m wacko too! My oldest daughter has not spoken or seen me in over 5 years and that is her wishes not mine. I know I have compassion for all my children, but they do not seem to have any for me. All 3 of them must be my greatest teacher and love me the most. I just wish it would not pain me in the heart so much, when I feel they do not love me. Please keep up your positive work. You are helping us a long. My husband is also reading your material. He was the one who directed me to your controversy article. Much love and light support,” Ruth & Grant.

  • Learning to be a Compassionate Teacher

    Now that we have moved through the May 5, 2000 doorway, many of you starseeds, walk-ins and lightworkers will begin to take up your missions, and therefore, will require assistance in learning how to become the teachers and/or leaders of the new world that we are all co-creating together. This article is the first in a series ‘Teacher’ articles that will explore the various aspects of being a teacher and a leader so that you can successfully fulfill your missions and have fun and financial prosperity while doing it.

    Learning to be a Compassionate Teacher

    Just this morning May 4, 2000, as I was sitting at my computer replying to the website forum postings, I suddenly got the impulse to add a comment at the end of one of my replies. I said, “I am so glad that we have the forum to talk with each other. I have wanted for a long time to talk to others the way I do here. It feels so good!”

    Shortly thereafter, one of the regular posters, Sowelu, replied saying, “ I get a real good feeling knowing this board is for you, too, in the same way it is for us. I often wonder about those who have made the transition of supplying spiritual/ascension services to others … if they are then nourished in this ‘community’ manner only by the inner, their inner council, guides, etc., and the outer becomes their ‘service zone’ only … if they begin to feel more isolated, or less. I think these thoughts come from my little girl inside, scared to make a leap into a more obvious form of service-to-others, you know? These are feeling things, not intellect, of course, but valid to express nonetheless. I’ve only recently come to love so much about my physical life and now find myself, here and there, fearing the loss of it with the raise in frequency … HA! Who’d have thought I’d ever get here! There’s glee in acknowledging it.”

    Sowelu’s reply became my inspiration for this article. Thank you, Sowelu!

    Learning how to make that transition to being a teacher and leader has been a real challenge. Learning to allow others to support and nourish me mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially is a terrifying thing for those like me who are better taking care of and giving to others.

    During my first years as messenger for the Nibiruan Council, I faced many obstacles to finding the balance needed to be a compassionate and effective teacher and leader. For starters, I feared that going public, which I knew was a big part of how I would accomplish my mission, was terrifying to me.

    I cringed at the thought of losing my privacy, of not having time for myself, and perhaps losing the new life that I had struggled so hard to create. Even thought this new life was not perfect, it was still better than the life I had left behind. I was afraid that I would be sucked dry by all the people who would come to me for help because there would be so many of them. I had seen what being a public figure can do to a person, how it could destroy them. I knew that I wanted to fulfill my mission because that was what made my heart sing. I had not yet learned how to keep my private world together in the process.

    As a messenger/teacher/leader, I felt that I had to be the one with all the answers, giving information from members of The Nibiruan Council and performing the services required in that role. But through it all I struggled with anger, fear and resentment over doing my service because of my beliefs about how I should do this job. I thought, “I give and give and give but get nothing in return! I don’t know how long I am going to be able to keep this up.” Some days were a struggle just to get out of bed. I thought to myself, “I can’t afford to become better known because it would drain what little energy I have left.” As you can see, I managed to work myself into a major frenzy of “poor me” victimhood due to my long-held belief that leaders and teachers should give and only received support from the higher realms to energize them and keep them going. I had managed to isolate myself from others, too afraid to reach out and be real for fear of their rejection.

    Due to this belief there were many times that I reached burn out and said to the Council, “I quit! This isn’t doing it for me anymore. It’s not worth the pain!” And each time they would respond, “Your role was meant to be a two-way street, Jelaila. You were meant to receive as much as you give and have all the good things that 3D has to offer.” Of course, I would respond with, “You’re just stroking me to get me to keep going.”

    I was also angry over that fact that my efforts were not paying the bills. It seemed at the time that the more I gave the less I received in financial support. My website was not getting many hits and my articles though well received by a few were not seeming to get out there very far. People were not passing them along.

    The sale of books and tapes which support this work was also not happening, at least not enough to keep our heads above water financially. And even though I was well aware that my financial abundance would come in proportion to my public exposure, I still didn’t really get it. So, in my mind this only served to further verify my belief that being a spiritual teacher and leader was a joke and I had been duped. Well, after 4 years and much pain, I finally got it. I stepped down off my pedestal, came down off the mountain and joined the real world.

    You see, doing your service as a teacher, healer or leader was always meant to be one that energized you and fed you emotionally, mentally and physically. The problem is that we have been struggling under the old programming whereby the teacher or leader is to be separate and above the student. The old patriarchal paradigm fosters the concept that “father, or in this case, teacher/leader knows best.” Therefore, we must be in a class of our own, separate from the rest in order to be known as leaders and teachers. To reach out and ask for love and support would take us out of that realm causing us to fall from our pedestals and thus lose the love and support we so need. Yet, like so many others learning this lesson, I have found that to not do so leaves me feeling empty and burnt out, angry and hateful towards those I came to teach.

    So, what is the answer? We must create a new paradigm, a new reality, one that supports us and feeds us so that we can continue our work until the mission if fulfilled. So what would that new paradigm look like? Well, let’s see—it would be one where those we serve see us as their equals. It would be one where they are able to experience the same feelings of power that come with giving as we do. It would be a reality in which they know that we see them as our teachers and that we all walk together on the path of enlightenment.

    It would be a paradigm where we would have lots of friends to talk to and with whom we could feel safe exposing our weaknesses and our pain as much, if not more than, we share our triumphs. It would be one where we would be safe to be real. We would no longer live in lonely isolation atop our pedestals. Our lives would be fun again.

    So I stand up and say that I am creating that paradigm and will continue to foster its concepts. I must do this because it is the only way for me to be able to continue my work with joy in my heart and the confidence to keep going on the darkest of days. So you see, we do not have to be alone sitting atop our pedestals upon which the world has taught us we must perch. There are those who will walk with us if we are only willing to reach out and embrace them. But to do so we must come out of our caves, be among them and allow ourselves to open up and receive all the love, support and guidance others wish to give us in return for the good we have done for them.

    Your guides can only do so much. Their job was to provide spiritual support. The majority of your support will come from the people you came to serve. That is the meaning of the balance between service to self and service to others. That is the meaning of the two way street.

    Today, I feel I am becoming a more compassionate leader. Compassionate in that I am learning to accept all things, including my own needs, and all people as having value. I now understand that the people who come to my website, buy my books and tapes and read my articles are my equals, each having something to teach me, and love to share.

    Because of this new way of thinking I have become much more willing to put myself out there, so to speak. I now willingly spend hours at the computer writing articles and posting them on our site, as well as in numerous places on the web. And I have found that the more real I am, the more I expose my vulnerabilities through my writings and communications, the more people reach out to support me emotionally, physically and financially. They seem to feel my desire to embrace them and be a part of their worlds and I, in turn, feel energized by their support, and thus, feel encouraged to continue become more public. As a result our sales have increased substantially and the money concerns appear to be behind us now. It’s a win/win!

    To the people who are on my mailing list, you are my lifeline, my support system, and I need you. Thank you for being here with me as I learn. Thank you for being patient with me as I struggle through my fears of being real with you, getting out of my ego, and learning that when I do you respond with hugs and words of encouragement, teaching me through the experiences you trusted me enough to share. Your love and support keep me going. Thank you, thank you!

    I hope you will consider the idea of joining me in the new way of being a teacher and leader. Your mission is precious and vital to the overall plan for earth. You deserve all the good things 3D has to offer and you will have them once you integrate the fear blocking you from having them, and do the work necessary to open the door to their flow. After all, you were meant to have them as the 3D portion of your reward for a job well done.

    With great appreciation,

    Jelaila Starr

    Our next installment in this series is Becoming a Prosperous Teacher which will explore the common blocks and fears that most starseeds, walk-ins and lightworkers have. These blocks keep them from taking on their missions achieving prosperity. This article goes hand-in-hand with the Money (under categories) articles and will explores many of concepts and solutions in those articles but will be written with the starseeds, walk-ins and lightworkers in mind.

    Readers Comments

    “You are so honest and real that it just blows my mind! What a refreshing gift you are to this planet. It’s like being in a desert and having someone hand you a glass of clear, cold water. Your articles talking and teaching about the downside of the ascension process are so badly needed in the whole body of information that’s “out there”. I think so many of us are so tired, burned out and exhausted and depleted financially and wondering what went wrong and is this really what we agreed to, and then you come along with a whole new perspective and way of looking at the issue that is very energizing and so completely honest and really what we all need to hear. Thank you again for having the courage to be you and for being willing to share that you with us.” Gretchen

    “I to would like to say how much I enjoyed your article. As a psycho-spiritual counselor I found this to be an issue from the start. I continued to pray that those who came to me would possess the knowledge of this new paradigm. I continuously was put on a pedestal and then resented when I didn’t have all the answers. What I realized after all the praying for the wise clients is that I needed to change my energy around this thought pattern. Even though I knew in my mind what the new student/teacher relationship looked like, I was afraid to break out of the old. Who would come to me when I didn’t offer the public what they expected? How would I make a living waiting for the mass to shift in their expectations? I found that it is working out beautifully. I am being provided with the lessons I need from my students regarding this issue. I continue today to work on not going into the old patterns and it seems that my pray for clients with the same new paradigm was answered. I was just looking in the wrong direction at first. Thank you.” Sandy

  • Facing the Fear of Commitment

    For those on the spiritual path who have made the decision to ascend along with Mother Earth to the 5th dimension, they at some point come to understand what ascension entails. They realize that it means clearing their emotional blocks and taking the denser energies contained in each and transmuting those energies into compassion. Compassion, as science has recently discovered, is the one thing that changes our DNA. In essence, it recodes the DNA.

    To clear our emotional blocks we must integrate the fears that create them. In this article I explain how I used the tools (The Multidimensional Keys of Compassion) given to me by my guides in the Nibiruan Council to begin clearing the many layers of my emotional block around commitment so that I could open my heart to be in a relationship. I hope it helps you to do the same … Jelaila

    On a warm and breezy Las Vegas afternoon in January 1998, my lifemate, Jonathan and I exchanged vows. In the silence of a lovely little chapel among our dearest friends, we promised to love, honor, and cherish each other ’till death do us part. We agreed to be committed in body, mind and soul to this union we were creating on that very special day. As I walked from the chapel on the arm of my handsome mate, I never suspected the fears I would have to face in the months to come in order to keep that commitment.

    Six months later in June, we decided that a move to Los Angeles (Jonathan’s hometown) was the next step on our spiritual path. With great trepidation and sadness, I sold my furniture, packed my crystals, kissed my young child goodbye and turned my face towards an unknown future. As long as I could remember, Los Angeles had represented fear of untold proportions to me. Why, I cannot say. Never had I wished to visit it much less live there, yet here I was, on the 4th of July weekend, my beloved cat Biijai snoozing in the back window of the car, and my new husband by my side, driving the 1700 miles to sunny L.A.

    I was emotionally okay about this move until we hit the city limits and I saw the sign saying “Entering Los Angeles City Limits.” Then like a bizarre scene from a Sci-fi movie it happened. A cloud of negative energy descended on me totally engulfing me in its terrifying mists. All of a sudden I felt I couldn’t breathe. I quickly rolled down the window, gasping for breath. Inside I struggled frantically feeling like an animal caged against its will. The emotional pain threatened to consume me.

    As I looked over at Jonathan, I saw a look of bliss and relief on his face. He was feeling just the opposite. He was finally home! How incredible, one of us was ecstatic with happiness and the other emotionally drowning as they entered another Dark Night of the Soul. I could barely contain myself from reaching across the seat and throttling him! Such was my welcome to Movie Town, USA.

    Several days later the remainder of my belongings arrived by truck from Kansas City. My crystals, clothes and other personal effects arrived intact. There was only one minor catastrophe, and it was behind the beginning of what would become my wedding ring rash. I opened one of the small Tupperware bins that held my cosmetics and toiletries only to find that the jar of honey that I use for waxing had spilled all over the other contents. What a mess! I used a gum remover call Goof-Off to get it off. I remember thinking to myself, as I sat there on the floor outside the bathroom, that I should have taken off my wedding ring before starting the clean-up, but that thought went out of my mind as fast as it came in.

    Two days later I awoke with an angry red rash under my wedding ring. The numerous little blisters were not only painful they also itched like hell. It formed a circle around the entire circumference off my finger. Immediately I attributed it to the cleaner that I had used, and silently berated myself for not taking off my ring before I started cleaning up the wax. I got up and put an anti-itch cream on it. This somewhat alarmed me because I had never experienced anything like it before.

    I decided against taking off my ring because I felt the cream would clear it up, but it didn’t. A week later it was still there. I finally took my wedding ring off because the pain of the blisters had become more that I could take. As I stood by my bed and slipped the ring from my finger, tears welled in my eyes. I felt like such a failure. Deep down, I knew that this rash was not caused by the cleaner, instead it was caused my fear of commitment, my fear of being married.

    After several days of denial I finally opened up and we talked about the rash. In tears of angry frustration I confessed that I was at a loss as what to do. I had tried having the ring professionally cleaned, I soaked it in alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, tried boiling it in hot water and nothing helped. As long as I tried to wear my ring, the rash remained. Only when I took it off and left it off for several days would the angry red blisters dry up, the skin flake off, and the swelling disappear.

    The weeks turned into months and still I could not wear my wedding ring for more than a few hours without my finger breaking out in that damned rash. It was embarrassing to go out in public with my finger red and swollen and my wedding ring on my right hand. I felt like I had a sign over my head saying, Marital Failure, Can’t Commit. I was filled with remorse, guilt and shame.

    Of course, other manifestations of this fear of commitment began to appear. For starters, the intimacy in our marriage disappeared. It was hard to be sexual when you are consumed with guilt because your partner knows that you are keeping some part of yourself closed off.

    We both began to put on weight and get sick. Jonathan manifested lung congestion and a chronic cough and, as if this was not enough, his depression returned with a vengeance rendering incapable of doing anything for days at a time. I, on the other hand, manifested a left knee joint so swollen and painful that I could not walk on it for days and severe pain in my upper back between my shoulder blades accompanied with neck pain and stiffness. Sometimes my upper back and neck muscles would get so tight that they would spasm creating headaches that lasted 3 days and upon which Tylenol or Excedrin for Migraines had no effect.

    In late August Jonathan had to face the fact that his company of 12 years was doomed. He had taken on two partners several months earlier because he wanted out. They had agreed to buy the company from him but before the deal was done, they managed to make some very bad business decisions. Jonathan faced financial ruin since he had not been paid yet and the company was therefore, still in his name. As if he needed any more help, this sent him spiraling down into a dark pit of depression where he stayed for months. Within a matter of weeks, I saw him deteriorate from a strong, powerful, financially successful man to a wiped out, depressed and hopeless mate. His life was in ruins and I was just there to remind him of the things he could no longer provide.

    I started a personal crusade to save my husband, our marriage, and myself. I began “caretaking” Jonathan. Each time he would get depressed I would try to help him see the value in the loss of his company and our financial ruin so that he would lift himself out of it. I poured on the higher dimensional perspective, preached and pleaded, but the more I pushed, the more he resisted and retreated further into his cave. I felt I had all the answers and if he would just listen and do what I said, he, and we, would be okay. Talk about delusional! My guides must have been shaking their heads in amazement thinking that all their training had been for nothing. *sigh…*

    After several weeks of no change, I began to believe that he wanted to stay a victim, drowning himself in self-pity. He didn’t want to pick up the pieces and move on. The more he resisted my attempts to caretake him, the more fearful and angry I became. I became very critical of him and everything that he did. With all my training in higher dimensional knowledge, I could not change him no matter how hard I tried and I finally had to admit defeat. Had self-righteousness been a train, it would have hit me head on. I believed his depression, feelings of failure, and self-hatred, weight gain, and sickness were beyond my ability to fix. I thought our marriage was over and, therefore, it was time for me to leave. I just could not see that he was reflecting me.

    Once I gave up, the many nights that followed found me crying in total despair. I was really scared and the rash on my finger spread to the adjacent one. I was homesick for Kansas City, heartbroken at leaving my beloved child so far away, and feeling like a total failure at marriage. It was one of the lowest periods of my life. I stuffed myself with ice cream and potato chips.

    Eventually I rallied because I am a survivor at heart. I did the one thing my training had taught me to do and that was ask my Soul for help and then stay open and willing to follow its guidance. I had been trained well in this over the last few years since beginning my work for the Nibiruan Council and I knew that when all else failed it was the one thing I could count on unequivocally. So I called out to my Soul and said, “Maebel Lee, what is this about? Why can’t I make this go away? I want out of this hell but I can’t see any way out! Please show me!”

    My Soul immediately answered my request to understand by giving me a perfect reflection in the behavior of my husband. Unfortunately, I was too blind to see it. Thankfully, she didn’t give up. The physical symptoms continued through the months of September and October. Finally, in early November after much struggle and pain, I finally got it.

    I had been invited by Standing Elk to speak the Star Knowledge Conference in Sedona, Arizona. The day we left for the conference, I put my wedding ring on my right hand. I planned to put it back on its proper finger just before my presentation on Saturday and keep it there until I left the conference for the evening. That way I would be able to hide the fact that there was a problem in my marriage. But something happened in the early hours of Saturday morning that would forever eliminate the need for switching fingers.

    My Soul gave me a dream that put me in touch with the fears that were causing the rash. I dreamed of my parents and their marriage, finally understanding that my commitment fear and my ring rash stemmed from my fear of ending up like them. My parent’s marriage could be likened to the Civil War.

    I was gaining weight and was very critical of myself for it. And I feared being rejected and criticized about it by Jonathan, as my mother had been by my father. My mother was a slender, beautiful woman when she married but within a matter of 5 years she was very overweight, sickly and bitter. Her marriage had become a prison and she felt that with 4 kids, there was no way out. I used to think to myself, “God don’t let me end up like my mother.” Now, wasn’t that exactly what I was doing?

    My father couldn’t handle the sight of fat people, they made him physically ill, and here he was with a wife to whom he no longer was attracted, but could not leave without suffering a worse fate of overwhelming guilt. His answer was to withdraw into his books and work leaving my mother feeling abandoned, resentful and rejected. To me their marriage was a fate worse than death. No wonder I was 25 before I took my first plunge into the marriage pool.

    As I thought about all this, I realized that the answer was to be found in changing my behavior and my perspective on this whole thing. If I could change how I viewed our symptoms, I would integrate the fear they represented thus releasing myself from this Dark Night of the Soul.

    So I began to once again, use my training and starting with the rash, took each symptom through The Formula of Compassion. I found the lesson the rash was there to help me see. It was showing me that I was fearful of a commitment that big and that I had no agreements in place with my inner child or my partner to handle those fears. So I made the agreement with my inner child to accept the weight gain as her way of protecting our body until I could do it for us.

    I saw the upper back pain as my teacher, teaching me that when I take on and carry the responsibility for someone else’s emotional state, that burden gets very heavy and after a while, very painful. I didn’t need to fix Jonathan’s pain.

    The neck pain was teaching me how stubborn I was about letting go and allowing Jonathan to be in his depression and pain. I didn’t want to feel his pain so I tried to get him out of it. I wasn’t accepting him as he was, but instead I was trying to make him be the way I wanted him to be. Not very loving on my part.

    And finally, there was the knee problem. Wow, what a teacher. I was showing me that I was really fearful of changing directions and creating a new way of being, a way that allowed others to be who they are and to be in their pain without me rescuing them from it. It was about learning to allow them to be in their lessons without trying to get them out of those lessons because I do not want to feel their pain.

    Then there was Jonathan’s depression, now that was the one I feared the most. I found that the value of his depression was that it allowed him a way to numb the pain of his guilt and shame and to survive until he could take responsibility for his choices and find the value in them. The depression was a kind of morphine and helped him get through the weeks of hell that occurred after the collapse of his world.

    Once I understood these things, no longer rejecting but instead valuing them, I felt tremendous appreciation for Jonathan and the role he had been playing for me. By becoming the epitome of everything I feared in a mate — angry, depressed, weak, overweight and sickly, he gave me the opportunity to experience my worst fears and integrate them. Now that I appreciated those symptoms in him and myself, I no longer feared them or feared being rejected because of them. They each had great value as teachers. And because these fears, manifesting as these symptoms, having been what my parents had experienced and never to this day resolved, they were the reason I feared commitment. But now that I valued them, I no longer had any fear of commitment. The very fear that had imprisoned me in my Dark Night of the Soul had set me free!

    Silently, in my heart, I took Jonathan through the Formula of Compassion and then released him from the role. Afterwards, I talked to Jonathan telling him of my dream and my realization. I thanked him for loving me enough to endure the sickness, weight gain and self-condemnation he suffered in order for me to be able to accept that behavior and not fear it anymore. I felt the gratitude and appreciation swell in my heart.

    My Dark Night of the Soul was over and what a powerful lesson on commitment it had been. Whew! But now I knew with a deep certainty that Jonathan loved me and that I could commit to our marriage. I put my wedding ring back on its proper finger and walked out into the sunshine of a beautiful Sedona morning.

    It has been nearly two years since that Dark Night of the Soul and the rash has returned from time to time along with the other symptoms. When they first returned, I was pretty upset feeling that I had regressed and all my clearing and integration work had been in vain. But once again my guides came to my aid and explained to me for the umpteenth time that our fears are held in emotional blocks that resemble onions. With each experience, we integrate and peel another layer. So often we forget this.

    Jonathan and I use our training in The Multidimensional Keys of Compassion to get through each lesson and in so doing increase our level of trust and commitment to each other. As of today, April 11, 2000, we only experience these symptoms once in a while, whenever a new layer comes up to be released. We have come to accept this and not be concerned by it because there’s no safer place for us to be then in our marriage. Amazing, isn’t it?

    Summary: I feel that it may be helpful to outline the steps I took to integrate my fear of commitment. Here they are:

    1. Using the steps of The Formula of Compassion I asked my Soul to show me the lesson I was trying to learn. I asked her to show it to me in 24 hours or less and in a way that I could not possibly misinterpret. I also added an addendum asking that if I perchance missed her answer that she would keep giving it to me until I either got it or no longer wished to receive it. (My soul gave it to me immediately. I just couldn’t see it.)
    2. I stayed open to seeing the answer (see The Open Door Key) . I also looked for the connection between my physical symptoms and my lesson, i.e., fear. I used Louise Hay’s book, Heal Your Body to give me some clues. My Soul provided the rest.
    3. Using the second step of The Formula of Compassion I looked for other players in this lesson and eventually came to see that my husband was playing the role of my worst marital nightmare.
    4. I stayed open and willing to allow time to go by so that my inner child could see that she could survive this experience (see The Soul/Ego/Self Partnership). During this time I had frequent conversations with her to allow her to express her fears around this continuing situation. At the end of each conversation we reconfirmed our commitment to continue with the lesson until the fear was gone. (Not always easy, but simple to do.)
    5. I continued to ask my soul for the answer and in time, when enough time had passed for my inner child to know that she had survived and could continue to survive with this fear, the answer came again in the form of a crystal clear dream about my parents.
    6. With the understanding of the dream I was able to see the aspect of myself that Jonathan was mirroring to me through his behavior. I was able to see that over 4 months I had experienced this fear and survived. I talked to my inner child and we agreed there was no need to fear this anymore and in doing so, we integrated this fear. We also changed our behavior. We began to allow others to feel their pain without needing to fix it. This eliminated the symptoms I was having.
    7. I released Jonathan from his role with heart-felt appreciation. I also released myself.
    8. Lesson complete.

    Jelaila Starr

    Written April 11, 2000

    Readers Comments

    “Wow! A very powerful story Jelaila and one that has me thinking and asking what your story “mirrors” for me and why it made me cry? Funny too, a ring is in my story. My ring is a “mother’s ring” and motherhood has been my lifelong commitment and promise to the Universe. I say “promise” for I feel I took on motherhood as a spiritual endeavour. It has been, BTW, mostly sweet. But of course their have been many lessons as well … Great story Jelaila!” Love, Kathy

    “I happened across your ‘Facing the Fear of Commitment’ article this morning. It helped me understand myself a little better. I have been dating my partner for about 5 months and our relationship has been wonderful. I’m 33 years old and have had my share of relationships, but this one has been a blessing to me on so many levels. However, I have a fear of commitment. I have noticed that whomever I date, about 4-5 months into the relationship, I start pulling away, being less intimate, having doubts, and wondering what in the world is wrong with me and why I start pushing them away. It’s a cycle and I want to break it so desperately, but do not know how. I have been to counselors before and they have helped some. The last counselor told me that my self preservation instinct kicked on sometime in my life and has yet to shut down. When I start getting close to someone it will kick in and I start pushing my partner away. After reading your article, I realized that yes it is an emotional block and I have to face my fears and give myself room to grow and change this part of my emotional psyche that is no longer helping me. I have a good life and have been blessed and am wanting to share my life with my partner. Thank you again for posting this article. I just wanted you to know it helped. Thank you,” Shelley H.

  • Jumping into the Void of Opportunity

    At a time when so many of us are experiencing the intensity of emotional clearing and resulting confusing and sometimes very painful changes in our relationships, I felt that sharing a few of my secrets would be of some help. These secrets are the things I have learned about letting go and jumping into the void of the unknown. Enjoy!

    Lately I’ve been counseling people who appear to have a common challenge occurring in their lives. It seems the props of their personal worlds are falling away as the foundations of their lives dissolve before their very eyes! They ask, “Jelaila, what do I do?” My reply is always, “Rejoice cause now you have the opportunity to jump into the void of opportunity!” Usually after a brief period of puzzled silence they respond, “What do you mean, void of opportunity?” Let me explain.

    Each person’s Life Blueprint has doors that lead from one stage of life to another. As each door is closing, we must jump into a void to open the next door, trusting that what is created in the void will make us wiser, stronger and happier. Unfortunately we usually open the next door after the previous one has been shut through seemingly uncontrollable circumstances, like a job loss or relationship breakup. At times like this, we feel our world is falling apart. Since we didn’t seize the opportunity to change for the better, our soul takes the initiative and closes the door for us. The soul’s goal is always spiritual growth.

    Eventually things work out and we realize these were doors of opportunity and our current life is better than before. This Reactive Path is one way to move through your Life Blueprint, with much pain, fear, anger, and a sense of victimhood. We seem to feel that things happen to us instead of us realizing that we are the creators of our life circumstances.

    For Walk-ins, the Reactive Path will only lengthen the time it takes for them to find their true purpose for coming to Earth. With time growing shorter and shorter, it would behove the Walk-in to consider the Proactive Path. Through this path, they can reach the point on their Life Blueprint where they know their Contract for Service, and they can begin to fulfill it. So how do we switch from the Reactive Path to the Proactive Path? How do we overcome the obstacles of fear that keep us from taking this more joyful route? Let me share a few secrets with you.

    Secret 1. You set up your Life Blueprint with all the various and wonderful ways your life would change, once you closed a door and jumped into the void of opportunity that opened the next door.

    We obtain soul growth by feeling the fear of letting go of the old and making the jump anyway, knowing that we have set up something much better for ourselves than before. Look back at your life and notice how many times this has been true for you.

    Secret 2. Behind each new door you open, there is a gift you placed there in advance. It is a reward for feeling the fear of letting go and jumping into the void, for trusting in yourself and what you set up. Sometimes the gift is a new love partner, or a new job or even just more happiness.

    As a soul in the Interlife, the life between lives, you knew that a life without rewards would be arduous indeed. You would probably quit and transition if it got too hard. So you placed rewards on your blueprint to reward yourself for lessons learned.

    Secret 3. You get to your Contract much faster once you begin moving through the doors and voids of opportunity consciously, instead your soul having to push you through them.

    Many times I have had people say to me, “Jelaila, I want to make this jump, but I’m afraid it won’t turn out okay.” I answer, “Why would you give yourself something less than what you’ve already got? Wouldn’t it make more sense that you would give yourself something better? Isn’t the purpose of your existence attaining higher levels of wisdom, joy and understanding?” To this they would answer, yes. Then I would finish with, “Since wisdom, joy and spiritual growth are what we are going for, then is there any reason that it wouldn’t turn out great?”

    At this point the client shifts into a state of relief, excitement and anticipation, no longer fearing change and letting go. They didn’t really understand before that they set up their Life Blueprint. They thought someone else directed their lives, someone outside themselves. They realize now they really are the creators of their destiny. Now they realize with great joy, that it is them, their soul that directs their life and that their soul loves them and wishes only the best for them. Now they can move through their Life Blueprint without fear, knowing that the voids of opportunity are where the new circumstances of their life are created. Everything, all matter is created in a void. They also know that the next door beyond the void is the manifested creation of the void. It is the new love, the new job.

    Walk-ins, time is growing short. You asked to know your Contract for Service. Taking the express train, the Proactive Path, will get you to it and to the life of joy and abundance you know your soul has set up well in advance for you. Have a great trip!

    Jelaila Starr

    Readers Comments

    “I really enjoyed that essay about Void of Opportunity. The soul mate I thought I had found a few months ago after an exruciatingly painful breakup turned out to NOT be my soul mate. He broke up with me last week. I was pretty devastated for a few days and even started questioning my own faith until I realized it was actually another crisis of faith test. I think I passed. With every loss, I feel like I gain threefold now. I feel even stronger than ever. And I feel lucky that it only took me 3 months to figure out this person was not the right one for me. But the breakup definitely brought up the same old childhood fears and issues of loss. This time I am going to get professional counseling to help me deal with my new epiphanies and breakthroughs. That article made perfect sense. Looking back, I see that each time I thought I wouldn’t make it, a new opportunity for growth and happiness appeared. Whether my soul put them there or not is really not the point. The point is that it IS always darkest before dawn. And I believe in my heart that something better awaits ME behind the next door of opportunity. Thanks for listening.” Luna

    “I was just reading, Jumping into the Void of Opportunity, and the last paragraph hit me big time. Walk-ins, time is growing short. You asked to know your Contract for Service. Taking the express train, the Proactive Path, will get you to it and to the life of joy and abundance you know your soul has set up well in advance for you. Have a great trip! I had to jump up and pace about my small apartment as I called to God/Goddess and ask, What am I here to do? What does it look like? How do I do it from right where I am at right now? I know I have sooooo many wonderful gifts, talents and a deep desire to surrender my life to The Work, but feel like I don’t have a clue as how to do it; as to what it is that I have to offer. When I get back to work I plan to contact you for a phone session. Perhaps this may shine some extra light on my path. With love and light.” Dennis C’Ja

  • Eating Meat & DNA Recoding

    This article is written from the perspective of my understanding. As always I ask you to use your own discernment with any information you receive. I do not ask you to accept this information as truth instead, I ask that you just look at it with an open mind, keeping what feels right to you and leaving the rest. Thank you.

    Have you driven by a Burger King lately and felt your mouth water at the thought of a juicy hamburger? Have you sat in a restaurant browsing the menu and found your eyes returning to the steak selection and your taste buds scream, “order it, NOW!” Are you a faithful vegetarian caught in the throws of guilt and shame, feeling that your mind and body are betraying you with their constant nagging for chicken fingers? If so, don’t despair, there is a perfectly natural reason—you are going through DNA Recoding!

    As stated in the article Dietary Considerations for DNA Recoding, our bodies are in essence rebuilding themselves while we live in them. Imagine living in a house while you are remodeling it. It wouldn’t always be comfortable now would it? We are remodeling our bodies, changing them from carbon-based forms to silicon-based or as some call it, crystalline-based forms. The dimension to which we are headed is less dense than our present one so our bodies must adapt for us to get there. Protein is the foundation of this change.

    As you know, meat especially red meat contains the highest amount of protein. Chicken and fish also have a high amount with fish having the least. I believe that reason why we are craving meat now days is because it contains the highest amounts of the building block needed for DNA Recoding, protein. And we have to recode our DNA to ASCEND! Now does it make sense? Of course, this doesn’t mean that we have to eat meat to ascend, it just means that we can get more of the protein needed via meat. So vegetarians, don’t sweat it, just include more vegetarian forms of protein in your diet.

    So let’s tackle that other question, you know, the one about the rightness or wrongness of eating meat. Why do you suppose, meat of all things would be involved in ascension? Based on the beliefs of many, it is not only wrong it is inhumane, and to many, unholy! Well … maybe not. Let’s look at the higher perspective to see if there is another point of view that would make sense of this.

    From the higher dimensional perspective, every soul evolves through a balance of service to others and service to self. This includes every evolutionary level of soul in every dimension. Since we know that cows, chickens, fish and pigs have souls, this would include them too, wouldn’t it? Well, if this is true, then I would suspect that they must have some plan for evolving, some plan provided to them by Divine Creator for ascending into the next level of soul evolution—the kingdom of sentient beings, i.e., the human kingdom. Now if that were the case, then what kind of service would they provide? Ploughing fields is one thing, but I don’t think that is the answer. I have a sneaky suspicion that it has to involve helping us to ascend … and since we already see that we need lots of protein … and their bodies contain the greatest amounts of protein … could it be that giving of their bodies to help us ascend is their way of serving? I think that could be it.

    But what about the dishonorable way that they are killed, and what about the fear that they are experiencing that goes into their bodies at the time of their death? How do we deal with that? Well there’s an answer for that too.

    I believe that the animals knew that they would not be killed in a gentle and loving fashion and seeing the value on a soul level, felt that it would only add to their sacrifice. So when we accept their offering by eating their flesh we are in essence, acknowledging their sacrifice and service to us and in so doing, providing them the means to fulfill their soul contracts so that they can ascend. In other words, if we refuse their offering we not only hurt our chances for ascension, we hurt theirs as well. Our bodies need the protein in their flesh and they need us to accept their service.

    Now as for the fear they felt at their death (and they would experience fear during any type of death), this energy is also valuable to us because it acts as a catalyst to bring up our other stuffed fears so that we can see them and integrate them. So you see, the animals are helping us to ascend and if we truly want to honor them we will accept their sacrifice and service with gratitude and appreciation.

    So when you sit down to eat your next meal, as you prepare to bite into that juicy steak, send a little prayer of thanks to the soul of the animal who provided it, letting it know how much you appreciate its sacrifice, then bless it and send that spirit on its way.

    Jelaila Starr

    For more information about the DNA Recoding, Reconnecting and Activation Process, you may contact Jelaila using the Contact Us page. Additional information on caring for the body during DNA Recoding can be found on CD 9 and CD11 in our CD Sets page store.

    Readers Comments

    “Your article confirmed what I had found out myself after a long and constant struggle. Out of my IMMENS love for animals, I became a vegetarian for a couple years. But I found myself malnourished and despite this deep love, I got to the conclusion that there must be a good reason why we have some of the animals as food on earth. My conclusion was exactly as the same as yours. They are here to sacrifice themselves for us, for our ascension. And when people throw the leftover meat out, my heart is bleeding for the animal, who died in vain. I offer my heartfelt thanks to the animals who died for me. What was startlingly new and fascinating about your article is that I have unusually been craving re-red-red meat for quite some time.” Marianna

    “I really give thanks to you for that article because regardless of what doctor or vegetarian said, I’ve always felt that the animals were giving their selves to us and we probably did it aeons ago to be in the now at this time also. Keep up the good work and thanks again.” Hotep!